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A Secure Telephone Conference Call Between Trump and Three Governors—Intercepted!


( managed to get this transcript of the call. I can’t reveal my sources. This explosive conversation took place last Wednesday.)

Present: Donald J. Trump, Gov. Ron DeSantis (Florida), Gov. Brian Kemp (Georgia), Gov. Doug Ducey (Arizona), Stephen Miller

Operator: Good morning, Governors. Please stand by for President Trump.

(crackling and crunching sounds)

Trump: You guys there?

All: Here, Mister President.

Trump: Sorry to keep you waiting. I had to finish my KFC bucket before Bannon got it. Hey, DooDooRonRon, how ya’ doin’?

DeSantis: Very well, Mister President.

Trump: Brian, Brian, don’t be cryin’, too bad about the lyin’ All-Star Game. We’re gonna take down MLB, just you wait and see. Believe me, those liberal bastards won’t know what hit them.

Kemp: I believe you, Mister President.

Trump: Loosey Goosey Governor Ducey, how’s that grip?

Ducey: Working on it, Mister President. Got a new 8-iron with a titanium shaft and—

Trump: Don’t care. Look, Governors, I want to acknowledge your work in voter suppression. Very good! But it’s not enough. The enemy will still figure out ways to get around it, and, as you know, full voter turnout will mean that no Republican ever gets elected president again. We don’t want that, do we?

All: No, Mister President.

Trump: So you’re probably wondering what we’re gonna do about it. Well, let me bring in my point man on voting–my Immigration guru, and your favorite QAnon personality, Mister Stephen Miller! Steve, take it.

Miller: Thank you, Mister President. Good morning, Governors. Now, I’ve been thinking a lot about this. We were so close to victory in 2020, and even closer on Jan. 6, but these goddamned Antifa radicals stole the election by some very dubious, illegal means, supported by the lying lamestream media. So we have to combat them. Now, the President and me appreciate what y’all have done in your states, but it’s obvious we have to do more. Problem is, we’ve probably achieved as much as we can through legislative means, so we’re gonna have to go into extra-legislative, or you might say extra-judicial means, in order to win in 2022.

All: Sounds good.

Miller: Uh, now what I say here has to stay here. Understood?

All: Understood, sir.

Miller: Because this is a matter of the greatest sensitivity, and we have to—

Trump: Oh, shut up, Miller. Look, Governors, we’re going to stop colored people from voting. A “final solution” to the problem. If we don’t, they’re gonna find ways around all your voter suppression laws, because radical Muslims like that awful Stacey Abrams or Stacey “Antifa” as I call her are gonna help them do it, with hundreds of millions of dollars supplied by crazy Jewish billionaires like George Soros and Bloomberg. So we have to play hardball. I’ve been getting you guys ready for hardball for years, haven’t I?

All: Yes, Mister President.

Trump: If there’s one thing I’ve taught you, it’s that there’s no room for sympathy, or softness, or compassion. You gotta man up! We have got to employ the most brutal means in order to Make America Great Again. Miller, take it back.

Miller: Thank you, Mister President. So, Governors, we’ve been working on, uh, chemical means of eliminating colored people from voting, and the most promising was developed by our good friend, the brilliant doctor, Scott Atlas. He’s invented something called Carcino-Melano, or CM for short. It’s a DNA-based substance that turns the melanin molecule into a protein capable of passing through the blood-brain barrier and immobilizing the cerebral cortex. Now, the reason this is important is because—

Trump: Oh, shut up, Miller. Look, Governors, do I have to paint you a picture? Who has melanin?

(The three Governors are silent)

Kemp: Uh, just a guess…colored people?

Trump: There’s intelligent life in Georgia! Precisely. Dr. Atlas figured out that, if you can turn melanin into a brain fog agent, we can solve the voting problem from within instead of from without.

Miller: It’s exactly what the President says. We can ensure that colored people are too stoned to vote.

(Gasps all around)

Ducey: Brilliant!

DeSantis: Incredible!

Kemp: Praise Jesus!

Trump: Keep going, Miller.

Miller: Thank you, Mister President. So, Governors, here’s the plan. We’re going to manufacture Carcino-Melano in huge quantities at our Fort Detrick biowarfare facility in Maryland. Then we’ll supply you with enough doses for all the colored people in your state. All you have to do is dump the CM into your reservoirs a few days before Election Day. It will have a minimal impact on white people—a little diarrhea, at worst. But it will absolutely prevent colored people from being able to vote. Dr. Atlas actually tested it during the recent Nigerian elections and it had a success rate of 90%.

Trump: If no colored people vote, no Democrats win! This is huge, Governors! So who’s in?

All: We’re all in!

Trump: Excellent. Very good. I’m proud of you patriots. Now, not a word of this to anyone, right? This convo never happened. If you have any questions about anything, your cut-out is Sarah Huckabee Sanders. I’ll get you her number. All right, Governors, gotta go! Playin’ golf with my favorite guy, Mike Lindell. By the way, he’s offering each of you a 20% discount on any order at MyPillow.

Operator: Gentlemen, this concludes this conference call with President Trump. Have a nice day.

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