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Melania Trump, in hardhat, battles the coronavirus

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“Melania Trump defends work on White House tennis pavilion as coronavirus spreads” is how CNN headlined the story over the weekend. Seems the lovely FLOTUS posed for pictures, sporting a sexy little hardhat that seemed almost haute on her coiffed head, as she presided over construction of a fancy new “tennis pavilion” on the White House grounds.

That she did this at the height of the fear of coronavirus spreading across America, with people dying and the stock markets withering, apparently did not occur to Mrs. Trump or her P.R. handlers. She also tweeted: “I am excited to share the progress of the tennis pavilion,” next to a photo of her looking absolutely stunning in a black, high-necked woolen cardigan coat.

Her followers weren’t buying it. “Bummer you won’t be able to use [the pavilion],” one replied, apparently a suggestion that Mrs. Trump’s days in the White House are numbered. Another replied, “melanoma please be sure it’s complete by November” so the Bidens can use it when they move in. Another got right to the point: “At least 314 people with the Covid-19 illness have been treated in 28 states, and at least 17 patients with the virus have died. Melania Trump: ‘We’re building a tennis pavilion.’”

Comparisons to Marie Antoinette (“Let them eat cake”) were inevitable. Mrs. Trump, meanwhile, felt the need to respond to the criticisms. “I encourage everyone who chooses to be negative (and) question my work at the @WhiteHouse to take time and contribute something good (and) productive in their own communities,” she tweeted. That didn’t really answer the accusation that she has been tone deaf about the tennis pavilion; it merely shifted the blame to everybody else.

In the interests of full reporting of the news, I’m able to reveal some other details of Mrs. Trump’s schedule over the last week.

Wed. March 4: Mrs. Trump attended a Runway Show for Michael Kors’ Spring 2020 line. She was seen applauding wildly for a checkered, black gingham dress decorated with lemons and cherries, set off with a jaunty cobalt leather belt.

Later that evening, in New York City, as the media reported on mounting coronavirus deaths in Washington State, Mrs. Trump dined at her favorite restaurant, Jean-Georges, in the Trump International Hotel, where she enjoyed chicken parmesan. Her dinner partners included Joshua Kushner, Jared’s brother, the founder of an investment firm that has made a lot of money since Donald Trump was elected.

Thurs. March 5: Back at Mar-a-Lago, Mrs. Trump was spotted at Stubbs & Wootten, an exclusive shoe store in Palm Beach. According to a store employee who did not want to be named, the First Lady purchased a pair of needlepoint Camo slippers with leather soles, for $500. She was overheard telling a clerk how “sad” the coronavirus is. “But it’s going to disappear very soon. My husband says so! And in the meanwhile, it’s important to look our best!”

Afterwards, Mrs. Trump and her entourage headed down to Boutique Ralph Lauren, on Palm Beach’s exclusive Worth Avenue (by appointment only), where, according to an employee, she bought throw pillows ($550 per), a 20-place setting of Wexford dinnerware ($125 per plate), and a set of crystal bar glasses ($595 each). She explained to a clerk that she’s constructing a “private little getaway” at Mar-a-Lago, “just a place for me and my girlfriends to escape from the pressures of the Southern White House and relax, as we girls know how to do!”

Fri. March 6: During an interview with Women’s Wear Daily, Mrs. Trump was asked how she spends her busy days as First Lady. “Oh, almost all my time lately is work[ing] on anti-coronavirus activities,” she replied. “It’s very important for First Lady to have [a] steadying effect on [the] nation. I visit hospitals and talk to a coronavirus victim and do everything I can to help them.”

That evening found Mrs. Trump back in New York, where she attended an exclusive dinner at Calvin Klein’s Fifth Avenue penthouse. The supermodel Bella Hadid reportedly sneak-previewed Klein’s upcoming Summer Collection.

Mrs. Trump is scheduled to return to the White House early this week, where among other activities, she’s said to be involved in planning for the official opening of the new Tennis Pavilion. “The First Lady wants everything to be perfect,” said one of her aides, who asked not to be identified because she wasn’t authorized to speak to the press. “Style is very important to Mrs. Trump, as everybody knows, and she wants to have the perfect outfit for this important opening. She’s also very concerned about floral arrangements.” Asked if Mrs. Trump has any coronavirus-related activities planned for this week, the aide replied, “None that I know of. Mrs. Trump doesn’t want to get sick.”

  1. Enid langbert says:

    God. Oh God.

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