Three entries from the Personal Diary of Donald J. Trump
Aug. 16, 1965
I just got called to the Selective Service Induction Center, down on Whitehall Street, for my physical to be drafted into the Army. Holy shit, I says to myself. But I told Dad, and he said, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll have my doctor friend take care of everything.” So the doctor—a Jew—wrote that I have bone spurs, and he said that will get me out.
Bone spurs! Ha ha. I don’t even know what a fucking bone spur is. Actually, now that I think about it, I do. It’s a fucking get-out-of-Vietnam-free card.
Did they really think Dad would let me get drafted? Puh-leeze. The Army’s for losers: the Blacks, Ricans from the Bronx, white trash from the South. Let them go to Vietnam and get their balls blown off. I’m too busy having fun at boarding school.
We had a great time yesterday at school. Some of the other rich kids and I were hanging out, killing frogs, when this twerpy little scholarship boy came by. He’s a Jew. Really poor; I think his father was killed in World War II and his mother is a seamstress or something boring like that. His name is Nathan. Nobody likes him. We usually pick on him when we see him, so I told the guys, “Hey, there’s that asshole Nathan. Let’s give him a hard time.”
We went over to him. “Hey, Nathan, you have a booger hanging out of your nose,” my friend said. We all laughed. Nathan was really embarrassed. He wiped his nose on his shirtsleeve—he was wearing the official boarding school shirt—so I said, “Hey, punk, that’s disrespectful to our school. Why are you disrespecting our school?” And Nathan turned all red and said he wasn’t disrespecting our school. That’s when I hit him. I like picking on little schmucks. They deserve it.
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Nov. 15, 2006
I was eating at Jean-Georges yesterday with Pecker and in walks this babe. Drop-dead gorgeous, just my type, tall, with long wavy blond hair, a gorgeous ass and tits to kill. About 24 years old—just the way I like ‘em, fresh and young. She’s with this guy, a schmuck I used to know from Brooklyn real estate, a real gonif, name of Samuels. So I excuse myself from Pecker and walk over and get introduced to the chick. Stormy Daniels, she says, shakes my hand, looks at me, bats her eyes, and I just knew, and she knew, and she knew I knew that she knew. I made Pecker get her phone number before we left and I called her later that afternoon. I had a limo pick her up and take her to Trump Tower. Fortunately, Melania’s down in Palm Beach, so the place was empty. Man oh man, the sex was frigging awesome. She’s a freak, too…peed for me and everything, and then I fucked her and shot all over her face. It was wild. I think I’ll be seeing her again. That makes three this week. Only problem with these girls is they sometimes get knocked up, but $25 grand and an abortion takes care of that! Melania’s not exactly cool with me fooling around, but that was part of the pre-nup, so she doesn’t have a choice.
April 1, 2019
Exonerated!
No collusion!
That’s what the Mueller Report shows—just like I’ve been telling the world for two years. Now I can put this bullshit behind me and get on with the real agenda: getting re-elected, then getting Don Jr. elected, and after him, Ivanka, so we can have a Trump Dynasty in America!
Think about it. After years, no, decades of weakness under disasters like the two Bushes, Clinton, and Obama, we finally have a strong leader in America! We’re going to push this country so far to the right, you won’t recognize it. In fact, I’ve already started doing that. And while we’re at it, I’m going to destroy the Democrat Party once and for all. Why do we need two parties? When America started, under George Washington, we only had one party: the American Party! George Washington has always been one of my heroes. Like him, I never told a lie, and like him, I’m making a Revolution.
The fake media are howling over the Mueller Report!!! MSNBC just said that the Report proves I colluded and obstructed justice, and that Congress is now going to have to take action against me since even Mueller admitted a sitting President can’t be indicted. But nobody’s gonna believe the liberal media. I’ve groomed this country for two years. I’ve prepared them for this damned report by convincing them that Mueller, and Comey, and Rosenstein, and the rest of them, are bad cops, and that they shouldn’t believe anything any of them ever says about me. And Americans, bless their hearts—well, good Americans, conservative Americans—believed me. Now, here we go into the future. A Trump future. It’s funny how, in these moments of supreme victory, you think of small things. Like, the Secret Service told me two years ago they wouldn’t be able to smuggle women in to see me, no matter where I was staying, for “national security.” But now I’ve redefined “national security.” National security is whatever I say it is!!! And I’m going to tell them, “In the interests of national security, you have to smuggle women in to me.” If they argue, they’re bad cops, and I have the power to get rid of them. I have the power. The power. The Power. THE POWER. Nothing, nobody will stop me now!!!!!!
