Trump should take my advice

What do you do if you’re Trump? The walls are closing in…every instinct in your body tells you to fire Mueller, fire Rosenstein, fire Sessions, just blow up the entire investigation and, if it starts to smolder again, stamp it out, as often as you have to, until the embers are cold and dead.

But you can’t do it. All your “friends,” lawyers and even your most pathetic sycophants are warning you not to touch that third rail. All your life—nearly 72 years—you’ve been able to do pretty much whatever you wanted. Ever since you were an adult, you’ve behaved as you pleased—you were a rich prick–and if anyone had a problem with anything you did, you threatened, harassed, bullied or paid them off until they went away, and you were in the clear again.

But you can’t threaten, harass, bully or pay off Mueller. So, for the first time in your long life, you’re having to deal with stuff you’re not prepared to handle. Your blood pressure must be through the roof! No wonder you exploded at that Baltic presser the other day. It was totally inappropriate—those poor leaders must have thought they’d wandered into an insane asylum instead of the White House. Everyone was aghast at your anger and disconnected ramblings. But it’s not really surprising, or shouldn’t have been: you’re cornered, like a wounded badger, and the only thing you know how to do is lash out and claw.

I’m almost tempted to feel sorry for you. Watching your Baltic meltdown, I half expected you to start crying. Your voice choked up, your throat tightened, it was truly marvelous to see. Obama used to choke up from time to time; so did George W. Bush. But when they grew emotional, it was because of death and suffering being imposed on innocent human beings. When you got emotional, it was because you feel unfairly treated. “They” are picking on you. It’s always all about you.

The truth is, the Mueller probe is about you, Mister President. But you were wrong, once again, to call it “an attack on our country.”  You are not the country, Mister Trump. You are an employee of the country. No President is above the law: ask Richard Nixon. That’s the way the Founders planned it. They foresaw the threat of tyranny when they drafted the Constitution. They had had enough of the “King of Great Britain,” who sought to make Justice “dependent on his Will alone,” and they had no intention of allowing such autocracy to establish itself in the nascent United States of America.

But you don’t know that, Mister Trump. You don’t know about U.S. history, or the philosophies of the Enlightenment and the Age or Reason that are reflected in our Constitution. You are not well-read, and you do not understand law. The one thing you do understand, quite well, is what is good for Donald Trump, and what isn’t.

Unfortunately, that is not the right skill set for you to possess, if you wish to be an effective president. It can never be about you: ask any of the living presidents (if they even bother to talk to you anymore) and they’ll give you the best advice you never got: Don’t take anything personally. It’s never about the man who holds the job, it’s about America, about the American people, about being the leader of the free world. And it’s about the law! Don’t do stupid stuff, as Obama said. Well, it’s too late for that, in your case: you’ve already done stupid stuff. Now that you have, you can’t undo it: the dominos are falling, and they’re about to bury you.

So my advice is, take it like a grownup. Own up to what you did, and leave office. If you quit now, you might be able to exit with a little dignity, although there’s no guarantee that you won’t be prosecuted anyway for your crimes. You might even have to serve some time. Remember that some of the greatest leaders in world history have been jailed: Gandhi and Martin Luther King, among many others. Not that you’re in their league, or possibly could be. But when you start to feel picked on, think of these men. You’re old, but hopefully, you’re not too old to learn.