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From the personal diary of Jared Kushner

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Dear Diary,

You’re the only one I can trust these days! Even Ivanka’s been giving me weird looks. As for Dad—Donald—I can barely get into the Oval Office to see him anymore. That schmuck, Kelly, doesn’t like me, and he’s even convinced Dad to revoke my security clearance! I guess that means I’m not going to be the special envoy to the Middle East anymore. Or to China. Or the social media guy. Or the infrastructure guy. Or the opioid guy. Or the guy who reforms the V.A. Of course, I had no idea what I was doing in any of those things—but it was fun while it lasted, and I got a lot of good business done for the Kushner Companies.

Hey, what’s wrong with that? People act like I have this huuuge conflict of interest, but let me ask you this: Like, I was meeting with King Salman, in Saudi Arabia—a great guy, by the way, real down-to-earth—and, when we were finished talking about politics, I asked him if he had any interest in Kushner Companies building some luxury apartment buildings in Riyadh. I don’t see any problem with that! Like, we’re in the same room together, and it took weeks to get this meeting organized, so am I supposed to ask for a second meeting for the business part? That’s stupid. It’s more efficient to do it all in one meeting. It saves the taxpayers money, and, after all, I’m a busy guy. So I guess you could say that what’s good for the Kushner Companies, and for the Trump Organization, is good for America. Oh, and for the Middle East.

So now, the #FakeNews media is trying to make it sound like I’m gonna be indicted by Mueller. Well, Dear Diary, this is just between you and me, okay? I mean, it has to be realllllly private!!! I didn’t even tell Ivanka. So, when I met with Sergey Gorkov in New York, on Dec. 13, 2016, we talked about how Dad was going to reduce or eliminate the sanctions on Russia after Putin helped get him elected president. That was the deal Dad and Putin made. I don’t know exactly when—they must have talked about it on the phone, or maybe when Dad was in Moscow. Dad told me about it once. He said Putin told him the Russians had kompromat on him [Dad] in the form a videotape, but that Putin would make sure the tape never got out if Dad would reduce or eliminate the sanctions, if he was elected. Dad told Putin that he [Dad] didn’t think he’d ever really be elected, and only wanted to run because he figured that, as the losing Republican candidate, he’d easily make a billion dollars with new T.V. and book deals.

Well, Putin told Dad that he [Putin] thought Dad really could win! And then he added the sweetener: He would have his security forces work in social media to get him elected! Putin described to Dad exactly how the fake websites, bots, trolls and phony identities would work—who would run the operation—how much it would cost—and how he [Putin] would insulate Trump from any connection with it. And then Putin showed Dad some studies showing how it could all work to put Donald Trump in the White House!

Well, that was good enough for Dad. They agreed to the deal. It was just the two of them: no witnesses, no tapes, no notes, nothing. But that’s why I met with Gorkov on that Dec. 13. Dad had just been elected; it was time to pay the piper. Putin wanted to know what Dad was prepared to do about the sanctions. And that’s when Gorkov gave me a warning he wanted me to pass along to Dad. He said, “Jared, President Putin would like to do your father-in-law a favor. He still has that videotape, and he always will. It would ruin Mr. Trump to have it go public. So please inform your father-in-law that President Putin is raising the stakes. Not only does President Putin insist on reducing if not eliminating the sanctions, he insists the President Trump resist all the investigations into so-called ‘Russian meddling’, attack the investigating committees, attack the FBI, attack anyone who supports the investigations, and discredit the entire story. No matter what, President Putin insists that your father-in-law discredit the investigation and insist Russia never did anything wrong!”

I remember when Dad told me that, he sort of went all quiet for a minute. And then he said, “Jared, I’ve got to do what Putin wants. He has me over a barrel.” I told him, “Dad, don’t worry. I got your back. It’s all good.” But to be honest, Dear Diary, now I’m not so sure. Mueller is moving fast. I’ll probably have to be re-interviewed by him again. I don’t know what he has. One of the big problems, for me anyway, is that when I was meeting with Gorkov we talked about him and his friends lending Kushner Companies a few billion to pay off our debt. Once again, Dear Diary, I didn’t see anything wrong with bringing that up in the meeting. But I hear Mueller is sniffing around, and between Flynn, Gates, Papadopolous and Manafort, there could be emails or paper trails or even—God help me!—somebody was wired at some point.

I think that’s why Ivanka’s been so cool towards me. It’s like the whole family is taking sides, looking at each other suspiciously, not sure who to trust. Melania won’t even make eye contact with me anymore, and we used to be so close! As for Eric and Don Jr., they’re talking about another big game hunting safari in Africa. I think they just want to get out of Dodge.

Well, Dear Diary, like I said, you’re the only one I can confide in. Thanks for being there. It’s lonely being me these days.

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