The wacko Right’s hottest hot-button issues, according to Breitbart
To know what white supremacists are pissed off by on any given day, you need look no further than Breitbart’s Facebook page, which claims to have 45 million monthly droolers readers. We can start with the assumption that its editors wake up every morning with one thought in mind: “How can we rile our angry white male fans?” So they scour the Internet for stuff that’s guaranteed to make a hater’s head explode. Here are yesterday’s top muckraking stories. And, for an extra treat, I include the Funniest/Stupidest Comment on each post (with spelling and punctuation errors uncorrected):
Venezuela. It’s a socialist state, so that puts it squarely in Breitbart’s cross-hairs. Bannonites only like socialism when it’s Big Government telling people what they can and can’t do in their bedrooms!
Funniest/stupidest comment: This is the ultimate goal of the deranged left. To rip the constitution, make a new one in their dictatorial eutopia. They’re using the illegals, minorities, and when they’ve achieved their ultimate goal they’ll cast them out and say, yeah u guys get in line with the rest of them too.
Mike Pence talking at the U.N. Breitbart’s been making nice to him because they know he’s likely to be President sooner or later.
Funniest/stupidest comment: “No Muslim in our government. Get them out America first no Sharia law in the USA”
Obama. Would a day at Breitbart be complete without new attacks and insults to the 44th President?
Funniest/stupidest comment: “THE DEMOCRATS CORRUPTED ALL OUR GOVERNMENT AGENCIES FOR THEIR POLITICAL BENEFIT.”
Benedict Cumberbatch. Why is the handsome young movie star on Breitbart’s attack list? It has to do with Syrian refugees, whom he’s expressed sympathy for. Breitbart never heard of a refugee they didn’t despise. Hence, the hating on Cumberbatch.
Funniest/stupidest comment: “Yeah bring ’em in, so that they’ll be able to plot the next bombing, just like they do in England! Don’t put the cat among the pigeons!!”
An eight-year old who “took a knee” at a youth football game. Breitbart has led the war on Colin Kaepernick. Now that “taking a knee” is spreading across the country and support for Colin is mounting, Breitbart’s editors are frothing at the mouth with indignation. How dare that child! His parents must be snowflake libtards!
Funniest/stupidest comment: “This is country is in trouble. We are teaching these kids disrespect. I hope you can speak russian. We will see how they will handle disrespect.”
Children’s cartoons. Somebody claims to have seen “a penis” in a cartoon on Netflix, and the prurient Right is having conniptions! God forbid they should get half as upset by their president’s sexual predations on women.
Funniest/stupidest comment: “The comments on this page are proof this culture has gone to hell…..a clear and obvious penis on a children’s show and it’s okay with you. These are the same people who think its okay for all these female teachers to sleep with 15yr old boys.”
Chris Christie. Does anyone care about him anymore? Breitbart does. The Governor said something nasty about Steve Bannon, so Breitbart is spitting back.
Funniest/stupidest comment: “This fucktards was the darling of the Washington establishment rinos need I say anymore than that . Shut your face fat fuck , YOU ARE THE PROBLEM …”
Transgendered people. The Pentagon is backing off Trump’s stupid ban on Trans folks in the military, with the military stating they’ll continue to pay for reassignment surgery for the time being. Which, predictably, outrages Breitbart’s white males, who are hairy chest-beaters and approve of one of their own who likes to grab women’s genitals.
Funniest/stupidest comment: “I do not believe this…if its true…Obama did that shit…don’t try to make it look like Trump and Mad Dog [i.e. Mattis] are for this Shit..”
Leonardo DiCaprio. Another libtard Hollywood star the Right loves to bash, even as they line up to see his movies. What did Leo do to earn Bannon’s wrath? He donated $20 million of his own money to eco-friendly projects.
Funniest/stupidest comment: “How about all that eco damage that DOUCHE boy does with his life style ?? DOUCHE boy needs to get over himself – get a life and get out of our lives !!!”
John Kerry. The former Secretary of State had the lésé majesté to criticize Trump’s bellicose “Rocket Man” speech at the U.N. and what does he get for it? Breitbart accuses him of “making America last.”
Funniest/stupidest comment: “You were stupid before Trump was elected and you still are! Sit down and shut up! You have nothing to say that makes a difference to anyone in America!Trump 2020🇺🇸 MAGA”
Gov. Jerry Brown. My governor, the most successful California governor in history, is leading the national effort to protect Dreamers. So it’s inevitable the xenophobes at Breitbart are hating on him.
Funniest/stupidest comment: “Now this clown🤡and his staff are suing Trump for the border wall! Hey Brown, WHY don’t you take care of ALL the homeless in California first before you WASTE taxpayers money are frivolous lawsuits???😡👎👎👎👎”
And—it wouldn’t be a new day without an assault on Hillary Clinton! Yesterday it was for—well, who the hell cares what it was for? The misogynists can always invent some new lie.
Funniest/stupidest comment: “Oh Hillary is much worse than that I hear she smells like rotten cabbage and urine because she refuses to bath everyday!”
And there you have it, Breitbart’s editors’ top stories, and the funniest, stupidest comments from their classy, articulate readers. These people are clearly running scared of the impeachment train that’s heading towards their president, and cheap, garbage nonsense is all they have to stop it.
I think your motto should be: “I read Breitbart so you don’t have to.”
And what is a “clear and obvious penis?” Is it anything like a “clear and present danger?”
Bob Rossi, I like that motto! I think I’ll start using it. Thanks.