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June 13, 2027: Live, from the Trump Memorial, on the Washington Mall

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[from your faithful correspondent]: Blasts of rain and wind drive against the grey granite walls of The Temple, but inside, it’s warm, with the glow of ten thousand candles casting a golden aura on the giant marble statue of The Great Father. Above the slightly-bowed head, with its mysterious smile and cloud of hair, are carved in stone the immortal words that inspire America:

As he devoted himself to the nation, let us remember The Great Father, Donald, in our hearts

Despite the storm the Mall is thronged with a sea of humanity, numbering perhaps five million, said (by official Fox News) to be the greatest assemblage in Washington since the First Inaugural of President Trump. One by one they climb the steps to pay their respects to the President whom they loved in life, and now revere in death. The line has been forming for days and still there is no end in sight. The mood of the mourners can best be summed up in the words of a tearful Mr. Elwood Detweiler, a retired constable from Passagoulou, Alabama. “He made America great again. We will miss him. But the wife and me are prayerful that we are guided now by the Young Leader, Jared, and the Glorious Spouse, Ivanka.”

The Young Leader can be seen standing beside the catafalque, at the foot of The Great Father, 40 feet of the finest Appalachian marble. Leader Kushner has not moved for two whole days, except for reasons of personal hygiene. By his side, Ivanka. She in flowing, billowy black organza, as befitting a mourner. With them is the grieving widow Melania, silent and dignified in Zang Toi black tuille. The Young Leader himself wears the braided mustard-and-red colored Field Marshall’s uniform he has chosen for his official garb. The family’s mood, and that of the crowd, is somber, but hopeful. The transition, thank God, has been smooth, as President Trump intended it to be. Unmarred by petty politics, unhampered by trivialities like elections, the Young Leader has assumed his rightful place at the helm of the coalition with the glory of the morning sun rising in the east.

The nation has accepted this fundamental change in the way we govern ourselves, I am glad to report, without murmur. I might have thought that the rather abrupt suspension of the Constitution would have given Americans pause. But two things have redounded in the Family’s favor. First, of course, is the fact that so many of the dissidents no longer are among us. How fortunate we are to be rid of this vicious, belligerent libtard scum! In the words of the old saying, Good riddance to bad rubbish—and for that, we can thank the vision and steel nerves of President Trump.

The second thing—so closely linked to the first that it’s hard to say which was cause, which effect—was the Second Korean War. It is a pity that San Francisco no longer exists, but, on the other hand, perhaps America is better off without that sinkhole of communism and perversity. A pity, too, that upwards of 20 million people perished in the bombs, but—as Andrew Jackson noted, when he opposed the Civil War—“Freedom is not free.” The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants! Well it was that President Trump forged the New Coalition between himself and Leaders-for-Life Duterte, Xi, Putin, Assad, Erdogan, Kin Jong-un and Goldman Sachs. We have eliminated messy “democracy,” which really was not democracy at all, but mob rule, and replaced it with the prosperity and common sense of the Trump dynasty.

And so the nation rallies as The Young Leader and his Glorious Spouse assume the mantle. So attractive a couple, he so handsome, she so beautiful and glamorous. After—let’s call a spade a spade—the stain of the Obama family, what a pleasure to see truly humble, moral folk, real Americans of authentic heritage, in the nation’s seat of leadership. And how blessed we truly are in the knowledge that when The Young Leader (may his reign be long) passes the torch, in the wings awaits The Leader-In-Waiting, Barron, blond-haired, blue-eyed, said to possess a determination even fiercer than that of his father.

These are great times for America. Great times to be an American. All the world now says in unison, “America is great again. He made it so.” And as we get rid of the coloreds, the perverts, the Pocahontases, the communists, the lazy, the unhealthy, the whiners and complainers, the spongers, the free-loaders, the terrorists, the Mexican rapists and the cripples, we will be even greater and purer. Hail the Trump family! Is it a coincidence that tomorrow marks the birthday of our late, great leader? I think not. Happy Trump Day to you all! May Trump bless you and America!

  1. Amy Corron Power says:

    The plausibility of that dystopia gave me chills, and not in a good way. More like the kind you get from a really serious case of the flu.

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