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They said it on Facebook: bad restaurant behavior



What’s the fastest way to make an asshole out of yourself in a restaurant? I was wondering because of some recent experiences, so I asked my Facebook friends, and as usual, they stepped up to the plate and offered up a potpourri of opinions which I am happy to share with you!

Send back the wine merely because you don’t like it.

Arrogance toward the staff.

Walk in like you own the place.

Snap your fingers at the server.

Light up a cigar and refuse to put it out saying……”this is a $100 cigar!!!”

Ask to speak to the Chef before your food has been served!!

Yell for service.

Take a line of my fav movie, The Jerk, “Hey waiter, you think in a fancy restaurant like this, you could keep the snails OFF the plate. And what’s with all this OLD wine, please go bring back something new, something from this year!”

Talk loudly on your phone.

Question a waiter about a dish and then show that you doubt he knows what he’s talking about (as in a long-ago date that I walked out on).

Pull down your pants and ask the server “what wine goes best with Wienerschnitzel?”

Quickest would be to ask to be moved from where they seat you three times. That’s instantaneous. Or maybe to just start insulting the hostess before you even get to that.

Anything that disrespects the restaurant staff.

Speak loudly on your cellphone while sitting alone at a table, without regard for your volume level.

Ask for a reasonably priced wine from their wine list.


Have no reservation, show up at 8 on the weekend and mispronounce the owner’s last name because he is a “dear friend”.

Ask in a loud voice, “what the fuck is the soup du jour?”

Because of course he’d give you a table…

Snapping your fingers to get service or refusing to take your ill-behaved children outside that are clearly too young to be there, so they can cool off and quit screaming.

Order Orange wine!

Send your food back because it’s too hot.

Ask for their finest white zin.

Tell the chef how to cook. That will get you in hot water quick!

take photos of everything including selfies of you with the waiter, chef, somm…

Talk about how good food, wine and service is at other restaurants.

Order something not on the menu.

Scrape your plate, and then complain that you did not like the food!

Arrive naked.

Rudeness towards an employee.

BUT…the biggest asshole(s) in a restaurant is the person, or persons who know full well the restaurant is closed, and yet they stay to absurdly late hours, keeping everyone else waiting there for them.

Asking for a red Château d’Yquem.

Leave a .02 cent tip.

Letting your kids run around like wild creatures in the restaurant instead of making them say in their seats (not bringing them something to do to keep them occupied also makes you bad) and then looking at your kids and smiling like everyone should also love them too when in actuality everyone is plotting the demise of them & your family (and I am a mom!). Also allowing them to scream like it’s some cute thing they do. It’s not.

Walk out of the restroom with your skirt tucked in your panties.

Ask for ice in your wine.

Be a loudmouth name dropper, take every call on your non-muted ringer, and also incessantly talk about the legs of the wine.

or wear a Dodger hat, anywhere outside of L.A.

Act like your customers are a dime a dozen.

Declare yourself and your friends “foodies who have eaten at the best restaurants on the planet”. Then say that you’re allergic to everything.

Loud bitching and moaning.

[This is Steve] I’m sure that none of my readers has ever committed any of these faux pas! I certainly haven’t!

  1. Bill Haydon says:

    Go into a restaurant that you know in advance has a heavily Eurocentric wine program and start complaining because there’s no Domaine Chandon (or Cakebread, Rombauer, KJ etc) on the list, while ignoring those small, under-the-radar California producers that are present.

  2. Kurt Burris says:

    Bill: I’ve run into more the opposite problem about wine lists. While I don’t complain about the wine list if it consists of nothing I can’t get at every Safeway in the state, I may not go back.

    Also, I have asked for a side of ice when the wine by the glass was warmer than I care for. I feel the tablespoon or so of water far outweighs drinking warm wine.

  3. Robert Mondavi — himself — used to plop ice cubes into his glass of venerated Napa Valley Cabernet on a hot afternoon/evening to make it more quaffable.

    (Source: Dan Berger, repeating a Michael Mondavi anecdote.)

    I would recommend a single ice cube for “high octane” wines like Zinfandels to slightly dilute the alcohol.

    [Bill might nominate more wines than that . .. ]

    Call it “watering back the wine” after-the-fact:

    From Los Angeles Times “Food” Section
    (October 27, 2004, Page F1ff):

    “Just Add Water;
    California vintners use a controversial practice to reduce over-the-top alcohol levels. Most have kept quiet about it, until now.”


    By Corie Brown
    Times Staff Writer

  4. As for the other side of the coin — let’s hear from the restaurant diner . . .

    Excerpts from The Wall Street Journal “Marketplace” Section
    (November 26, 2008, Page B6):

    “Marketers Reach Out to Loyal Customers”


    By Emily Steel
    Staff Reporter

    It’s an adage of the business: Persuading a satisfied customer to return is cheaper than attracting a new one. Now, in the struggle to do more with less, that concept is becoming even more important.

    Acquiring a new customer costs about five to seven times as much as maintaining a profitable relationship with an existing customer, says Marc Fleishhacker, managing director at WPP’s Ogilvy Consulting . . .

    From BusinessWeek “Upfront” Section
    (April 17, 2006, Page 14):

    “Gripe Alert: Revenge of the Irate Shopper”


    By Robert Berner

    Caveat vendor: That disgruntled shopper snarling at the manager isn’t the problem. It’s the customer who complains about the store to friends. A new study shows that people told about a friend’s or relative’s bad shopping experience are up to five times as likely to avoid the store in question as the original unhappy customer.

    One reason is that the tales of annoyance tend to be embellished with each telling. By the fifth rendition or so, “the sales clerk who was just unresponsive has become abusive,” says Paula Courtney, president of Verde Group, a Toronto retail consultant that conducted the study with the Jay H. Baker Retailing Initiative at the Wharton School.

    The survey of roughly 1,200 U.S. shoppers in the weeks before and after Christmas, 2005 . . .

  5. Diane Kenworthy says:

    I would give the poor woman who came out of the bathroom with her skirt tucked up in her pantyhose a break. Maybe awkward, but not an asshat. I once caught up with a woman in a mall that had walked the entire length with a “tail” of toilet paper caught in her pantyhose. At least 20 people were laughing at her behind her back, and I was the first to alert her about the problem.

    And has anyone ever shown up in a restaurant naked? I think not…

  6. “Pull down your pants and ask the server ‘what wine goes best with Wienerschnitzel?'”

    I have never done that.

    Ok, there was this *one* time…

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