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Leaked! Internal NRA communication

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CONFIDENTIAL MEMORANDUM

from the desk of

 WAYNE LAPIERRE

 To: NRA Executive Committee

Many of you have expressed concern about the recent widespread student demonstrations across the country to enact further restrictive measures against the lawful sale, purchase and enjoyment of firearms, which is protected by our beloved Second Amendment.

Along those lines, I want to share with you our views. Our first and best strategy is to let this wildfire burn itself out, as indeed it will. The spoiled brats who call themselves “activists” will soon become bored. A new girlfriend or boyfriend – a new rap star – a new video game – a new mall or movie – will attract their immature minds, and they will quickly tire of this ridiculous infatuation. So all we have to do is stick it out.

The N.R.A. has withstood these external pressures before. I would remind you that, after the Newtown (“Sandy Hook”) incident, our organization came under similar pressure from radicals of the Nancy Pelosi-Dianne Feinstein type. We resisted that pressure, and we succeeded. The pressure subsided, and, in the end, nothing harmful was enacted by the Congress. I would remind you, too, that we functionally own the Republican Party. There may be a few Republican Congressmen or Senators who could be re-elected without our support, but there are none who could be re-elected with our active opposition. Indeed, they know this, which is why our longterm strategic position remains solid.

Our public posture on firearms should remain the following:

  1. We will permit no incursions upon the Second Amendment.
  2. We are in support of public and private research into the causes of violence, as long as this research does not result in a limitation on the public’s right to bear arms.
  3. We believe in God, and He supports the public’s right to bear arms.
  4. Punishing law-abiding gun owners is not the answer.
  5. Limiting so-called “assault weapons” does not result in reduced violence.
  6. The Democrat Party is pro-communist, pro-Islamic terrorist, pro-criminal and pro-abortion. Your N.R.A. stands opposed to all these evils.
  7. The media is biased, except for Fox News and certain other commentators who support the Second Amendment, such as Alex Jones.
  8. Our slogan: “If you ban one, they ban them all.” If you are asked to explain by a leftwing reporter, accuse them of being an ultra-liberal, and move on to the next question.

In addition to messaging, we must do a better job of utilizing social media to counter anti-NRA lies. In particular, you should post damaging accusations about enemies such as Feinstein, Pelosi, Daniel Malloy, Kamala Harris, Richard Blumenthal and other Jewish/radical haters of America. Your NRA’s Communications Department can suggest talking points.

We gun owners face a determined, radical enemy. The children who are calling for increased restrictions on guns don’t realize that they are the pawns of America’s enemies. Their brains are not yet developed enough to respect our Constitutional rights. In your public responses to these demonstrations, we urge you to respect the children. Do not insult them, regardless of how you really feel about them. Keep in mind that your every word will be recorded and repeated endlessly. I know that this is hard: these children are entitled morons, who are being radicalized by the libtard media, especially MSNBC and the New York Times. When we accumulate more power, as we will after President Trump is re-elected, we shall take steps against them. In the meanwhile, I encourage you to stockpile and protect your weapons – load up on ammunition – be ready for an extended period of self-survival – and teach your children that Democrats are the enemy of Jesus.

Lock and load! Thank you for your support, and God bless America!

Wayne


From the personal diary of DONALD J. TRUMP

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Diary, you want to know why I’m so cranky? Because I can’t get laid!

I mean, ever since I was sworn in, it’s like living in Celibacy City. I can’t just bring a hot girl back with me that I picked up at some bar or party. Every move I make, a thousand people know it. I’m surrounded all the time by Secret Service, staff, the lying media. I heard JFK smuggled girls into the White House. How the hell did he do it?

I was always able to have all the women I wanted, Dear Diary. When I was younger I was pretty good-looking, plus I was rich. In New York, that’s the winning ticket! As I got older, I have to admit I got less attractive, but money made up the difference: I was Donald Fucking Trump, the King of Manhattan, the star of Page Six, the biggest celebrity in town! The babes lined up and, like I told that Access Hollywood moron, I could do anything I wanted. Sure, I needed a wife to breed my children, run my houses and be my official hostess. But all my wives, including Melania, understood that being Mrs. Trump came at a cost. They had to look the other way.

I didn’t think I’d be elected, so I never made contingency plans for getting laid once I was President. Early on—around the end of February, 2017, when I hadn’t had sex for more than a month—I was talking to the head of my Secret Service detail, and I asked him how the Service had gotten girls to Kennedy. He smiled and said, “Mr. President, back then, it was easy. The press didn’t know or care. It was ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.’”

“And now?” I asked.

“Times have changed, Mr. President. We would never be a party to that sort of thing. The press would find out. Heads would roll. Careers would be ruined.” We sat there for a little while in silence. I guess he knew what I was looking for, and, in his own way, he was giving me the answer.

Believe it or not, Dear Diary, I haven’t had a girl in the White House, Mar-a-Lago, Trump Tower or Bedminster since I became President. Even when I’m traveling, it’s almost impossible, although I’ve managed to do it once or twice. When I was in Jerusalem, last May, Bibi set me up with this really hot chick. He said she was Mossad. But other than that, zilch! Me, the world’s most powerful guy, and I can’t get laid.

And it’s driving me crazy. You know how they’re saying I levied those tariffs because I was pissed off by all the bad news? Only partially true. I did it because I was horny and in a bad mood! I mean, I can watch all the porn I want—that Tumblr website is hot. But I’ve never been a “rosy palm” man. I need the real thing! The smell of a woman’s body. The heat of her skin. The taste of her lips. Her fingers squeezing my ass. That’s the real deal, not doing myself!

And Melania won’t come near me—the last time we had sex was years ago. How’s a red-blooded, normal man supposed to go through life without sex? I’d ask my predecessors, Clinton, Obama and George W., if they ever fooled around, but they won’t talk to me, won’t even return my phone calls. I can’t really blame ‘em, after all my smack talk. Then again, George W. and Obama are such goody two-shoes, I doubt if they ever had sex with anyone except their wives. Now Bill, that’s a different story! But, like I said, he won’t talk to me.

It’s tough, Dear Diary. Like, I was down at Mar-a-Lago last week, at that fundraiser, and there was this gal, a lobbyist, who was with her date, a wealthy guy from Miami. I was working the receiving line and when she popped up, my eyes practically fell out of my skull. I mean, she was such a babe. Tall, great rack, long blonde hair, killer lips, about 32, really pretty, just the way I like ‘em. (Actually, she reminded me of Stormy Daniels.) And the way she was looking at me, I knew she was down for a thing. Now, if this had been two years ago, I guarantee you we woulda been in the sack, or at least in the bathroom, for a quickie. But now that I’m POTUS, it’s not gonna happen. Nobody told me it would be like this, Diary, and I sometimes wonder, if I’d known, would I have run anyway?

Well, I’m the most famous man in the world, and after this Korea breakthrough, I wouldn’t be surprised to win the Nobel Peace Prize, which I deserve a lot more than Kenya Obama! Guess I’ll just have to wait to resume my old lifestyle. But when I’m free from this joint, look out! I will make up for lost time.


Trump’s move on Jerusalem is his latest shot at Obama

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I guess it’s only natural for non-Jews to think all Jews are the same. Many non-Muslims think all Muslims are the same, even though we know that Shiites hate Sunnis and vice versa; and some Jews even think that all Christians are the same, which, of course, they’re not: there’s a huge difference between evangelicals who believe Adam and Eve played with dinosaurs in the Garden of Eden versus more enlightened Episcopalians, Lutherans and Unitarians.

But all Jews aren’t the same. The distinctions between us can be quite profound. In general, I’d divide Jews into two broad categories: the Orthodox and all the rest. The Orthodox, and especially that sub-group known as Ultra-Orthodox, are our version of the Taliban. They are extremists. They believe in the literal truth of the Bible (in this case, the Old Testament), just as the more irrational evangelicals believe in the literal truth of the entire Bible (Old and New Testaments). Even among Ultra-Orthodox Jews, there are further nuances. Probably the most extreme of the Ultra-Orthodox Jews are the Hasids, or Hasidic Jews. These groupings were formed in the shtetls and ghettoes of Eastern Europe and Russia in the 1600s and 1700s, when the Renaissance was happening in Western Europe; but they tend to live lives that are more medieval and Dark Ages than modern era. These are the men who always wear black suits and wide-brimmed caps. They usually have beards and always have long earlocks, because the Book of Leviticus tells Jewish men not to shave them. And you very seldom see Hasidic women around town, because they’re pretty much kept at home, raising the kids, cleaning the house, and cooking for their large families. (A similarity between Hasids and Islamic people is that men and women are segregated in mosques and synagogues.)

Hasidic Jews are by far a minority in the world, even in Israel, but they have an outsized voice in Israeli politics. There, the governing Likud Party—the party of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu—is quite conservative, but has not been able to secure a solid majority in order to rule the Knesset, or Parliament. Thus, they’ve had to ally with other parties, and in Likud’s case, they’re partnered with very conservative parties, such as Yisrael Beitanu, which stands for extreme Zionism and right wing populism, including keeping Israel a Jewish state and making Jerusalem the capital of Israel.

It wouldn’t be true to say that there are no “liberals” in Israel. Probably the majority of the population is “liberal” in the sense that they’re secular rather than orthodox; they want a peace treaty with the Palestinians, they think Israel should give back the Occupied Territories and stop building settlements, and they certainly don’t think Jerusalem—a divided city—should be declared the capital.

But the Ultra-Orthodox Jews have much more influence in Israeli politics than their small numbers deserve. It’s as if the wing of the Republican Party that favors Roy Moore were to be able to dictate policies here in America. (They can’t, quite yet, although we have to be on our guard.) With his alliance with Israeli’s Ultra-Orthodox, Netayahu has proven to be an extremely right wing, conservative leader, which is why America’s extremely right wing, conservative leader, Donald Trump, likes him so much.

But there’s another reason why Trump and Netanyahu are political bedfellows. That’s because Trump could not have been elected without the strong support of the wacko wing of Republican Christians, the ones who believe in things like The Rapture and the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. These people are among the most pro-Israeli in America, not because they have any particular love for the Jews—they’d convert us in an eyeblink if they could—but because they believe that Jesus can’t return to Earth until certain conditions in Israel are met, among the most important of which is—you guessed it—making Jerusalem Israel’s capital. Thus, the radically conservative American Christians (Franklin Graham, chief among them) are strong supporters, not only of America’s security commitment to Israel, but of making Jerusalem the capital. (And, of course, these Christians also are the most rabidly anti-Muslim people in America.)

Trump needs to keep these right wing American Christians happy, and one way to do that is to give in to their demand that Jerusalem be declared the capital of Israel. Indeed, this is the only way to understand why Trump has just taken the first step towards recognizing Jerusalem as Israel’s capital city, by declaring his intention to move the U.S. embassy there from Tel Aviv.

American Jews do not support this move. It is provocative—Arab nations will be up in arms, and the safety of all Americans will be endangered. It is stupid—no other country in the world thinks Jerusalem should be Israel’s capital, it will never actually happen, and it will only further isolate us from our friends and allies, mainly the Europeans. And it is so unnecessary. Nobody believes that Trump’s move will move the Middle East closer to peace; indeed, exactly the opposite.

There’s one more way to understand Trump’s dumb move: Obama was dead-set against it. With each passing day of this regime, Trump’s main agenda as President becomes clearer: to un-do anything and everything Obama did. His vengeance toward and hatred of his predecessor seem unbounded. Maybe it dates to 2011, when Obama let Trump have it over his birtherism at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, and an embarrassed Trump could be seen steaming and furious. Whatever its origin, Trump as President is driven, not so much by policy or even ideology, but by a mad, sociopathic obsession with getting even with and humiliating Barack Obama. It won’t work, of course: personally, Obama is too secure and serene in his own mind to let anything Donald Trump does get to him. And policy-wise, Trump’s stupid anti-Obama moves will easily be undone, once he’s removed from office. The important thing to realize now, concerning this Jerusalem-as-capital move, is that it will never happen, and is merely one more egregious thing attempted by this worst President ever, as he lashes out on his way toward impeachment.


What some Alabamians are saying about the Roy Moore scandals

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AL.com, Alabama’s biggest news website, just published an opinion piece on Moore. The columnist was careful not to take sides, but he did look at the situation Biblically, and he made the gentle suggestion that some people who are standing by Moore might be compromising their values, or might not fully understand just what Jesus said. “For Christians,” he wrote, “the question is not if we follow Jesus, but how.”

Well, that’s a good, healthy conversation for Christians to have. Meanwhile, the column prompted some comments that are a reflection of just how divided Alabamians are over whether Moore is being framed, or is a pedophile. One pro-Moore writer, name of Evangelico, displayed the hysteria and irrationality that mark large swaths of the Christian right when he said, Jesus Christ was the holy, eternal Son of God. The only source of eternal life. How dare someone like this columnist drag the name of Jesus Christ through the mud to justify ungodly government programs such as DACA, and Obamacare.”

This is the sort of blithering nonsense we’ve come to expect from radical religious Republicans over the last thirty or so years. Muckraking televangelists like Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson got filthy rich accusing Democrats of being ungodly atheists in the 1970s and 1980s; political hacks, ranging from Pat Buchanan to Ralph Reed, Rick Santorum and Mike Pence, carried their water even further, suggesting that liberals were anti-American, thereby stoking fear and resentment amongst their under-educated followers, particularly in rural areas of the Bible Belt. The result is that these Christians now get to define God’s political agenda. We now know, according to Evangelico, that God hates DACA and Obamacare. (Presumably, God approved leaving the Paris climate accords, and is in favor of tax cuts for corporations.) How Evangelico can read the mind of God is a bit of a mystery.

 To be fair, several other commenters rejected Evangelico’s assertion. Apparently God was a little bit of a socialist in the OT. It is very GODLY to give unto the poor – especially healthcare. Jesus healed the sick for free and would approve of the ACA. You should pray about it if you call yourself a Christian,” wrote SECorBust, in words that even a non-Christian can agree with. As one who is uncomfortable with overt expressions of religiosity intruding into the public sphere, I at least welcome sane Christians, as SECorBust seems to be, when they take steps to distance themselves from their more rabid co-religionists.

Another Alabamian columnist at the website provided a handy chart about some of the differences between Moore and the Democratic nominee for Senator, Doug Jones.

One would think that rational Alabama voters would weigh all these factors in deciding whom to support, but, pace Donald Trump, it’s entirely conceivable that the chart could include another distinction:

“Stood in the middle of 20th St., in downtown Birmingham, and randomly shot people.”

Roy Moore: Yup. Doug Jones: Nope.

Would it change Evangelico’s mind if Moore were a mass murderer? Probably not–unless, that is, God told Evangelico to stop supporting Moore. But the God whom Evangelico claims to hear would never do anything against Roy Moore, because that God–the father of Jesus Christ–wants Republicans to be elected all across the U.S. That God doesn’t care about the moral fitness of Republicans. He is willing to suspend every moral edict Jesus uttered, if it means electing Republicans. Lest you think this sounds sacrilegious or even blasphemous, keep in mind that this is what Evangelico believes. God told him so. “You must vote for Roy Moore, Evangelico. He is the man I want to be Senator. Don’t argue with me, Evangelico. Just do as I say. That’s a good boy. Oh, and don’t forget to give money to your pastor. I am the Lord, your God.”

Speaking of pastors, 50 of them came out publicly in favor of Moore. They said he is “an unmovable rock in the culture wars,” using a phrase made infamous by the Catholic provocateur, Pat Buchanan, when he launched his political attacks on the Clintons, in the early 1990s. At the 1992 Republican convention, Buchanan yoked GOP politics to Christianity when he claimed that a Clinton victory “is not the kind of change we can tolerate in a nation that we still call God’s country.” Buchanan, like Evangelico, knows for certain just how God would vote. Buchanan was an unmovable rock, unpersuadable by any evidence, common sense or legal principle, guided only by his theological biases. So are Evangelico and Roy Moore. Nothing can ever make them change their minds. God has spoken to them.


The Wine Country Fires: A Perspective

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For my readers who are unfamiliar with the Wine Country of Northern California that’s been ravaged by these recent wildfires, I want to give a little geography lesson, and tell you why the disaster is so epic, even for a state that’s seen some pretty devastating wildfires.

As many of you know, my career was in the wine industry, with a focus on the wines of California. Living in Oakland, I traveled frequently to the wine regions of Napa Valley and Sonoma County, which were the epicenters of the fires. Both are roughly 40 miles north of the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Area.

This is the heart of California’s multi-billion dollar wine industry. Its wines made California famous; those from Napa Valley remain the most expensive in America. The area is preternaturally beautiful, as wine country tends to be: rolling hills, forested mountains and, in the verdant valleys, jeweled vineyards, with creeks and rivers splashing through riparian corridors.

As near as I can tell (and it will be some time before the facts can be determined), the series of fires appear to have started in a single location: near the northern Napa Valley town of Calistoga. This is a village of great rustic charm, a tourist draw with its charming little wineries, mud baths, spas and restaurants. Apparently, the fire then went in two directions: South, towards the city of Napa, some 30 miles away, and west, to the even larger city of Santa Rosa, the county seat of Sonoma County, which is twenty miles away. There was vast destruction all along the way. The worst, as has been widely reported, was in Santa Rosa, where homes by the thousands were torched, but there also was extensive ruin around the city of Napa.

To appreciate the scale of the fire, though, you have to realize that, in spreading westward from Napa to Sonoma, the fire found, not one, but at least two separate routes. One route led directly west from Calistoga, across the Mayacamas Mountains separating Napa and Sonoma counties (the mountains themselves rise to 4,700 feet), and thence directly into the Santa Rosa region. But another route found its way, 30 miles to the south, from the city of Napa across the region known as Carneros, which runs along San Francisco/San Pablo Bay, spanning both counties; and from there, it hit the town of Sonoma, and poked its way northwest into the Sonoma Valley, also known as the Valley of the Moon, where it caused extensive damage in the charming towns of Kenwood and Glen Ellen, on the way to Santa Rosa.

This is a geographic scale that is unimaginable. The entire area contained within it didn’t go up in flames, of course, but for such a huge expanse to have burned is mind-boggling. The total fire acreage was in the hundreds of thousands. Of course, there have been other large-acreage fires in California, but they’re almost always in wilderness and mountainous regions. Napa-Sonoma by contrast is thick in houses, buildings and people.

By contrast, one of the worst fires in California history prior to the Wine Country Fires was right here in Oakland, which by contrast burned only 1,520 acres in the Oakland Hills Firestorm of 1991 (although the total number of homes destroyed then was approximately 3,000, close to the total number of burned homes, about 5,000, in the Wine Country Fires. But the Oakland neighborhood that went up in flames was densely packed with houses).

In wine country and California history lore, the burned areas are famous names: Napa, Calistoga, Oakville, Carneros, Sonoma Town, Glen Ellen, Santa Rosa. It’s impossible to describe the emotional impact to outsiders. To come up with a silly but illustrative example, it’s as if a wildfire had destroyed the Manhattan neighborhoods of Chelsea, Times Square, the Upper West Side, Harlem and the Financial District. Had that happened, of course, the world’s media would have gone into hyperdrive. In the case of the Wine Country Fires, the media of course took notice, but the feeling here in Northern California is widespread that the national media, including television and print, under-reported the extent of the disaster, focusing instead on Trump-related issues.

The same thing happened in 1991 after the Oakland Hills Firestorm. I remember writing letters of complaint for the media’s failure to report in sufficient alarm its hugeness. It had been, after all, the worst fire in American history, as measured by several parameters: the greatest destruction in real estate/insurance value (with the possible exception of the 1906 San Francisco Earthquake and Fire), and the worst urban-wildland interface fire in U.S. history. Now, here we are again, with the Wine Country Fires establishing new records.

The talk in wine country now is of recovery and rebuilding. I, personally, doubt that there will be much impact on the wine market, although I could be wrong: as I keep saying, we still don’t know how many vineyards were destroyed, how many wine storage facilities, how many winemaking production and distribution centers, or, for that matter, how many winery workers lost their homes or died. Nor do we know what the effects will be of smoke taint. Economically, the cities and towns—Napa and Santa Rosa above all—will take a very long time to rebuild, and one weeps for the tens of thousands of people who lived there who lost all.

Emotionally, for all of us with ties to wine country, the impact will be lifelong. It’s such a shock. It’s so hard to wrap one’s head around the scope of destruction. We who have driven those roads—Highway 29, the Silverado Trail, Route 128 over the Mayacamas, the Oakville Grade Road, Highway 12 in Sonoma, the 101 Freeway through Santa Rosa—and we who have enjoyed the amenities that burned down (I stayed at the Fountaingrove Inn, with Gus, many times)—we still cannot fathom how vast this monster was. The fire was, as Governor Brown stated, the worst in California in his 79 years on Earth, and when all the numbers are in, it will certainly be officially declared the worst in California’s history. The dates Oct. 16-19, 2017, for many of us, will be one of those, like Nov. 22, 1963, that is seared into our memories for the rest of our lives.

 


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