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We won the House!!!

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Yesterday was a long day. A reallllllly long day. By morning I’d seen enough threatening comments to me from nazified online sources, like Brietbart, to realize that these thugs had no doubt whatsoever that there would not be a Blue Wave! Typical was this hate-filled rant from someone who appears to be unemployed, going by the name of “Rich Perry,” from Howell, Michigan:

Steve Heimoff little stevie is gonna have a real bad day after the votes are counted.
Bet you will see him on the news tonight, crying real tears at the moon.
He won’t be spouting off tomorrow, thank God.
MAGA.

 Like most of the stupidity I get from white supremacists, it’s filled with insults and sarcasm, which I find amusing: I picture Mr. Perry (if that’s his real name), overweight and drunk at 10 in the morning, sitting in his double-wide, messy and filthy with discarded McDonald’s wrappers and empty cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon, pecking out threats to Democrats.

 Mid-afternoon:

 I have to confess I was disturbed by this breaking news that Steve Sivers, the head of the House Republican campaign effort, predicted Repubs would keep the House.

Does he know something the rest of us don’t?

8 p.m.

 Nope. Shivers was pissing in the wind. The House just went Democratic.

I am sad that more Democrats weren’t elected, but this enormous victory is satisfaction enough. Let me repeat: THE HOUSE IS DEMOCRATIC. The power of subpoena, people.

I just posted on Breitbart: “Ha ha, Speaker Nancy says bend over boys and take it like a man. DEMS RUN THE HOUSE! Let the hearings begin! Your fuhrers’s dirty cheating taxes…his family’s collusion and greed….the collusion with Russia….MUELLER IS PROTECTED! Die out, red state nazis, your brief reign is OVER!”

Yes there is some pentup hostility there, some over-the-top rhetoric. But can you blame me? Others on Breitbart have been so rude to me, it’s only to be expected I’m in the mood for payback. Well, here it is, directly to my Republican friends.

WE WON THE HOUSE.

By the time you read this, the shakeout will still be under analysis. What does it mean? Who won? Who lost? Well, no matter what the final analysis is, the bottom line—let me repeat—is WE WON THE HOUSE.

The pig in the Oval Office finally is answerable. Democrats—the true patriots of our country, heirs to FDR and JFK—demand nothing less than full investigations into every possible crime committed by this regime and anyone and everyone connected to it.

Speaker Pelosi, your constituents expect you to be tough, not conciliatory. Conciliation doesn’t work with these Republicans. It’s like trying to reason with Nazis. We need Nuremberg, not Better Call Saul.

Readers: Thank you from the bottom of my heart for voting today. We have diverted a disaster. Yet the work is nowhere near done. We have to continue to defeat these American Nazis. Keep 2020 in mind! I hope Trump isn’t even in a position to run by then, having been impeached or quit, but there will still be a Republican, and they’re all just as bad.

Who’s “crying real tears at the moon,” Rich Perry? Sorry, man. Soak your pillow.

WE WON! I sleep tonight in peace. America dodged a bullet. God bless my country.

 


That painting? OMG, burn it!

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Back in the 1970s there was a (mercifully) brief movement in American “art,” the so-called “Velvet Painting” style. It was characterized by scenes, painted onto black velvet, that were kitchy and cheap. These paintings were favored by poor, country people, who lived in what we now call red counties (Wikipedia says they were “widely sold in rural America”). Of course, the purchasers didn’t buy originals, but poster reproductions, which they would hang in their livingrooms, to give a feeling of “culture.”

The most popular themes were dogs (often playing poker), although other elements of the American cultural armada also appeared: Elvis, Jesus, circus clowns, Spock from Star Trek. Velvet paintings were wildly, scathingly loathed by professional art critics and knowledgeable fans of art. A college professor was quoted in The Chronicle of Higher Education as calling them all that is tacky, tasteless, earnest, sentimental, worthless, simplistic, poorly crafted, unoriginal, frivolous, redundant, and common.”

Donald J. Trump’s latest contribution to the art collection of the White House is a painting. It’s not on velvet, although it might well be, for in tackiness and cheap sentimentality, it outdoes anything ever to emerge from the Velvet Painting school. I refer, of course, to the ridiculous and vain painting of Republican presidents, among whom (and clearly given the star seat) is none other than Trump himself.

In the old days, Popes and Kings commissioned vanity portraits that portrayed them heroically. Donald Trump, who fancies himself a figure of world history (much as Hitler did), has done likewise. Notice how the artist has made Trump the only figure in the painting to engage directly in eye contact with the viewer. Note, too, the brightness of his white shirt, glowing angelically amidst the somber browns, blues and blacks of the other presidents (except for Ike’s golf shirt, a sickly mustard-yellow). Even Lincoln is dark, shadowed and shown from behind, gazing at Trump with what can only be Pence-like admiration.

What are we to make of such grossness?

Of course, it’s in keeping with Trump’s self-aggrandizing style. This is a man who already has declared himself “the greatest president God ever created” and “the greatest president in the history of the United States,” and who was described by one of his shills in the Senate, the rightwing Mormon Orrin Hatch, as “the greatest president in American history.”

Move over, George Washington! Get outtahere, Abe Lincoln! Drop dead, FDR!

Imagine how embarrassing it must be for a world figure visiting the White House to be given a tour by the president himself. Stopping before his new painting, Trump beams with pride.

“Isn’t that something?” he says.

The visitor—perhaps president of another country—tries not to be rude. “Yes, quite unusual,” he mutters.

“I had it commissioned by a very great American artist. I think he really captured my personality. Don’t you?”

“Undoubtedly,” the foreign president replies. “Quite so.” The visitor can’t wait to tell his friends how weird the moment was. “I couldn’t believe it,” he says later, laughing with them over drinks. “He was so pompous, so serious. It was all I could do not to burst out laughing. He really believes he’s in the same league as Lincoln!”

“Incredible,” his friends nod. “Such a foolish man.” “So deluded,” adds one of them. “Dangerous.”

Well, here we are, a demagogue in the Oval Office, conceited, megalomaniacal, delusional. Other presidents, no matter how great they thought themselves to be in their private moments, at least had the gracious modesty to not brag and boast. Not Trump. “Modesty” as a virtue comes nowhere near him. Nor does it come close to those around him. The impudent sons, Eric and Donald Junior. The arrogant son-in-law, Jared. The vapid daughter, Ivanka. The trophy wife, whining about how “bullied” she is, this pampered plaything of a cheating plutocrat. A modest billionaire would not have bought Mar-a-Lago, as vulgar a monument to self-glorification as exists in America. Who would buy Mar-a-Lago? Someone of means, obviously, but also someone with very low self-esteem, the kind of person who thinks that people will be impressed by the size of his possessions and not the content of his character.

Donald J. Trump has no character. He is indecent; even Republicans know it. The first thing a Democratic president should do, when she steps into the White House, is order that awful painting burned to ashes. Unless, that is, Trump takes it with him when he’s thrown out of office. He can always hang it in some dreadful room in Mar-a-Lago and reminisce about his glory years, while the rest of the country does its best to forget he ever existed.

 


From the Personal Diary of Donald J. Trump

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They say I wander the halls of the White House at night, like Nixon’s ghost, muttering at paintings and shaking my fist.

Well, so what? A guy’s gotta let off a little steam every once in while. It used to be that I could have Cohen or Weisselberg or some other flunky round up a call girl for me so I could relax. Those were the good old days, Diary! That’s how I got together with that Stormy Daniels. She’s a POS now, but whew, when I was bedding her, she was hot! A real slut—my favorite kind. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for me—nothing. And that includes golden showers.

When I was first elected I didn’t know if the Secret Service would help me get girls, or not. I mean, I had to be careful, you know? You can’t just say to them, “Get me a prostitute.” So one day, a few weeks before my inauguration (the biggest ever, by the way!), I said to the head of my detail (I’ll call him “Bob”), “Bob, uh, does the president ever get any privacy?”

“What do you mean, Mr. President-elect?”

“You know, time alone—out of the spotlight—where not even my family or my aides know where I am or what I’m doing.”

“Well, Mr. President-elect, we can make that happen. We can make anything happen.”

“What if, uh—now, Bob, give me an honest answer—let’s say I wanted something that was, uh, out of the ordinary, and required a little discretion.”

“Do you mean, like, marijuana, Mr. President-elect? I’m sure we can arrange that. We did for President Clinton. Or cocaine? We occasionally helped President Bush out with that.”

“No, no, Paul, I don’t do drugs. I mean—”

“President Obama liked to slip out of the Residence at night and go to We the Pizza with his daughters, sir. He’d just walk in unannounced and they’d order a pepperoni pie and—”

“No, no, Paul, it has nothing to do with food. It’s—it’s, well, more personal than that.”

“I don’t understand, Sir.”

Well, Diary, “Bob” was too stupid to figure it out, so I had him replaced. And the next guy, “Al,” was a lot smarter. Every once in a while, he would get me a girl. See, Cohen would find them for me, and let “Al” know, and “Al” and his men could get them in to me, in Mar-a-Lago, or Bedminster, or the White House, wherever—even in Helsinki, believe it or not. But now that Cohen’s gone and Weisselberg’s AWOL, I have no one I can trust to get me girls. That’s why I’m frustrated.

Look, what’s wrong with a POTUS talking to paintings of presidents anyway? Those are my peers up there on the walls, for chrissake: Jackson, Washington, Lincoln, McKinley, Reagan—good Republicans. (I had the White House ushers take down Clinton’s and Obama’s pictures—didn’t want to see those losers’ faces every damn day.) I can imagine the fuss the fake news would make if they knew that. But they don’t, and they won’t, because my White House doesn’t leak.

I’m gonna get that failing New York Times, I guarantee it! Just you wait and see. Traitors. They committed treason by running that op-ed lie. And that “anonymous”—why, he’s declared war against the United States. Firing squad offense, and we’ll do it right in the Rose Garden, where I can watch from the Truman balcony, hopefully with some KFC and a hot babe. That will be a good day. As for that Jew, Woodward, it’s too bad Nixon didn’t take care of him, back in the day. Maybe, someday, I will.

Rudy just called. He’s worried about Don, Jr. All I can say is, if that sunovabitch Mueller tries to lay a glove on my namesake and oldest kid, I’ll…well, I’ll cross that bridge when it comes. Sometimes, Dear Diary, I get so pissed at all this fake news. These Demon-crats, led by the Clintons, they’re trying to get me any way they can: lies, smears, innuendoes. And that Obama. Man, why can’t these ex-presidents just shut up and play golf? I’ll tell you, Obama’s the worst president we ever had. He really messed up the Bush economy, which had been doing so well, and it’s only because of me that this amazing Recovery has been so successful. So, yeah, I know I’m venting, but like I said, sometimes a guy has to let off a little steam. If only I could get a girl up here, a nice porn star. Dammit.

 


Random Notes: Kaepernick, FLOTUS (oh, no!) and Kavanaugh

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I’m so happy that Nike has made Colin Kaepernick their “face.” Very brave of them. In the Bay Area, where Colin used to be the 49ers quarterback, the decision is quite popular: yesterday’s morning news reported on a brand new poll, taken after Nike’s announcement, in which locals supported the decision by a three-to-one margin.

In less educated parts of the country, predictably, the Nazis and white supremacists are not happy. Here’s Breitbart’s Facebook post from yesterday:

The #BoycottNike movement is exploding on social media over the company’s decision to name anti-America, anti-police, pro-Communist millionaire Colin Kaepernick as the face for the shoe company’s new advertising campaign…

Don’t you just love it? “Communist millionaire.” Ha ha. Breitbart has proof, mind you, that Colin Kaepernick went to Communist School in Moscow, where he was taught by Putin himself. And Breitbart’s readers, who are generally poor hates millionaires, just detests them. Which is why they hate Trump. No, wait…

Of course, the Trumpian nationalists are out there burning their Nike sneakers in faux outrage. They remind me of the poor white trash Christians who burned Beatles albums after John Lennon’s remark about The Beatles being more popular than Jesus. You can always count on this riff-raff to act stir up trouble, especially when they’re egged on by their rightwing agitators like Trump.

I went to Trump’s Twitter accounts looking for his latest rant about Colin and didn’t see anything, but this tweet from Melania made me laugh: “Students – as you head #BacktoSchool, think about what you wish to accomplish this year. You have so much power in your individual voices. Will you strive to #BeBest?”

Two things about it are really striking. First, Melania’s pet “cause” (#BeBest) is the most cynically vacuous as that of any FLOTUS in my lifetime. It’s like an advertising slogan dreamed up by a cereal company. “#BeBest! Eat Cocoa Puffs!” All Melania needs is a little jingle to accompany it. Clearly, this flim-flammery was hatched by her P.R. hacks to make it look like this pampered, self-indulgent woman is interested in something besides herself. Sadly, Melania has never given any indication that she has any interests at all, beyond glamorous clothing, presiding over mansions, hosting luncheons for her “girlfriends,” and hanging out with Barron, who I swear looks more and more gay with every new photo.

He’s wearing J. Crew. WTF? This blog lists J. Crew as the second gayest brand in America. Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay: I am, and if Barron is gay, more power to him! But his Daddy is trying to ban transgendered people from the military, I wonder what Barron thinks about that.

The other thing about poor Melania’s tweet is the irony that her husband and his associates are bashing the Parkland students, including the fabulous David Hogg, for their anti-gun efforts, even as she’s urging “students” to express their “power” in their “individual voices.” Melania, that’s exactly what the Parkland students are doing!! Girl, if you had one-quarter of their integrity, you would be celebrating the Parkland activists instead of inventing a fake hashtag. Look, dear, you’re a punch line. Your reputation is in tatters: it’s irreparable, and you won’t be able to begin to restore your standing in the eyes of the American people until you divorce the philanderer, let us know how you really felt when he was humiliating you with all his ho’s and porn stars, and start leading an honest life, the way Jackie O. did after she left Onassis.

As far as Brett Kavanaugh is concerned, I’ll let my exclusive post from yesterday stand. To me, he’s just another angry, white Christian, pissed off that his ruling class is losing their power as America becomes more diverse. There’s a ton of such people; Kavanaugh would just be one more dreary cog in their ignorant machine, except for all the damage he’ll go as a Justice. I doubt that Democrats can stop him from being approved by the Republican majority, but I will warn Republicans that they will see widespread civil unrest if any or all of three things happen for which Kavanaugh is responsible:

  1. Ending gay marriage
  2. Banning abortion
  3. Letting Trump escape prosecution for his crimes

If Brett Kavanaugh is any student of history, I hope he’ll realize how perilous his situation is. He can help to diffuse it by refusing to kowtow to his Republican and Vatican bosses now that he has a lifetime appointment. Or he can throw gasoline on the flames and know that what ensues will be his fault. He can be Stephen Johnson Field, the Supreme Court Justice who’s been called “the worst SCOTUS ever” because of his white supremacist ideology, which included voting for Plessy v. Ferguson which upheld racial segregation. Or he can be a champion of civil rights and freedom, like Earl Warren, William Brennan and even Anthony Kennedy, men who are rightfully celebrated for making America greater by extending liberty throughout the land.

 

 


Giuliani: “The American people would revolt”

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Talk about wishful thinking! Or maybe it’s delusional psychosis. Either way, or both, Giuliani’s lie that “the American people would revolt” if Trump is impeached is a real howler.

Giuliani looks and sounds more and more like a maniac. I used to work in a mental institution where there were adult patients who had become completely divorced from reality. One man thought he was an Admiral. Another saw people whom no one else saw. A woman sat on a bench all day long “knitting” with invisible yarn and needles. These people all were suffering from different kinds of hallucinations.

Often, psychiatrists tell us, such reactions are defense mechanisms to protect the patients from their own internal fears. They make things up, as it were, that will ward off demons and dragons and keep them safe. In Giuliani’s case, it’s impossible to know if he’s actually hallucinating when he tells lie after lie (in the manner of his boss) or if he’s aware that what he’s saying is totally bogus and is just trying to spin. We can’t see into Giuliani’s brain (nor would I want to: nasty place), but it doesn’t matter what his specific motive is. What matters is the complete falsity of his remarks.

“The American people” will certainly not revolt if and when Trump is impeached. Every metric we have available proves that. Democrats have a substantial lead over Republicans in the midterm elections, which are widely viewed as a referendum on Trump (even Bannon admits as much). Trump’s job approval numbers remain well underwater in all eight of the country’s leading polls, while an overwhelming majority of Americans say that Trump’s boast to only hire “the best people” is ridiculous. Only an astoundingly low 13% of Americans believe Trump is “honest and trustworthy,” while a wide majority (51% to 35%) thinks Putin “has compromising information” on Trump. More than three-fifths of people polled “believe the women who have alleged affairs with Donald Trump.” As for impeachment itself, 42% of all Americans “say President Donald Trump should be impeached and removed from office,” and that was before the shocking events of last week, with Manafort guilty, Cohen taking a plea, Pecker and Weisselberg taking immunity from prosecutors, and Trump visibly melting down in public. I guarantee Giuliani that future polls will find much higher numbers of Americans happy to see him impeached.

So what the hell is Giuliani talking about? The monumentality of his lies and misstatements is almost beyond belief. Trump “doesn’t know anything about obstruction.” Really? Let’s let Mueller determine that. Cohen is “a massive liar”? Haha. Here’s a recent CNN poll:

  • Only 34 percent of Americans approve of Trump’s handling of the Russia investigation, vs. 55 percent who disapprove.
  • 58 percent say this is a serious matter that should be investigated, vs. only 37 percent who think it’s mainly an effort to discredit Trump.
  • 56 percent say Trump has interfered with the investigation, vs. only 38 percent who say he has not.
  • Only 37 percent say the things Trump has said publicly about the investigation are true, vs. 56 percent who say they are false.
  • 70 percent say Trump should testify to Mueller, vs. only 25 percent who say he should not.
  • 57 percent say Trump knew about contacts between his campaign operatives and Russians, vs. only 36 percent who say he did not.

Giuliani’s fake narrative may appeal to his boss and to the droolers on Breitbart, but the numbers prove that vast majorities of Americans aren’t buying it. If anything, with each shocking revelation about the extent of the criminality in Trump World, Trump’s negatives reach ever more unprecedented levels.

So, Giuliani, you have it exactly backwards. If and when Trump is impeached (and it’s looking more like “when” than “if”), the American people will celebrate. Your reputation, or what’s left of it, will be in tatters; maybe there’s a game show you can host. The moment the Houses passes articles, the American people will pour out into the streets to cheer our Constitution and praise the rule of law. Do you know when we, the American people, will revolt? If the Republican Party continues to obstruct justice by protecting their criminal leader. That’s when the revolt will erupt: against Republicans, culminating on November 6 and continuing for a generation.

 


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