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From the Personal Diary of Donald J. Trump

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They say I wander the halls of the White House at night, like Nixon’s ghost, muttering at paintings and shaking my fist.

Well, so what? A guy’s gotta let off a little steam every once in while. It used to be that I could have Cohen or Weisselberg or some other flunky round up a call girl for me so I could relax. Those were the good old days, Diary! That’s how I got together with that Stormy Daniels. She’s a POS now, but whew, when I was bedding her, she was hot! A real slut—my favorite kind. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for me—nothing. And that includes golden showers.

When I was first elected I didn’t know if the Secret Service would help me get girls, or not. I mean, I had to be careful, you know? You can’t just say to them, “Get me a prostitute.” So one day, a few weeks before my inauguration (the biggest ever, by the way!), I said to the head of my detail (I’ll call him “Bob”), “Bob, uh, does the president ever get any privacy?”

“What do you mean, Mr. President-elect?”

“You know, time alone—out of the spotlight—where not even my family or my aides know where I am or what I’m doing.”

“Well, Mr. President-elect, we can make that happen. We can make anything happen.”

“What if, uh—now, Bob, give me an honest answer—let’s say I wanted something that was, uh, out of the ordinary, and required a little discretion.”

“Do you mean, like, marijuana, Mr. President-elect? I’m sure we can arrange that. We did for President Clinton. Or cocaine? We occasionally helped President Bush out with that.”

“No, no, Paul, I don’t do drugs. I mean—”

“President Obama liked to slip out of the Residence at night and go to We the Pizza with his daughters, sir. He’d just walk in unannounced and they’d order a pepperoni pie and—”

“No, no, Paul, it has nothing to do with food. It’s—it’s, well, more personal than that.”

“I don’t understand, Sir.”

Well, Diary, “Bob” was too stupid to figure it out, so I had him replaced. And the next guy, “Al,” was a lot smarter. Every once in a while, he would get me a girl. See, Cohen would find them for me, and let “Al” know, and “Al” and his men could get them in to me, in Mar-a-Lago, or Bedminster, or the White House, wherever—even in Helsinki, believe it or not. But now that Cohen’s gone and Weisselberg’s AWOL, I have no one I can trust to get me girls. That’s why I’m frustrated.

Look, what’s wrong with a POTUS talking to paintings of presidents anyway? Those are my peers up there on the walls, for chrissake: Jackson, Washington, Lincoln, McKinley, Reagan—good Republicans. (I had the White House ushers take down Clinton’s and Obama’s pictures—didn’t want to see those losers’ faces every damn day.) I can imagine the fuss the fake news would make if they knew that. But they don’t, and they won’t, because my White House doesn’t leak.

I’m gonna get that failing New York Times, I guarantee it! Just you wait and see. Traitors. They committed treason by running that op-ed lie. And that “anonymous”—why, he’s declared war against the United States. Firing squad offense, and we’ll do it right in the Rose Garden, where I can watch from the Truman balcony, hopefully with some KFC and a hot babe. That will be a good day. As for that Jew, Woodward, it’s too bad Nixon didn’t take care of him, back in the day. Maybe, someday, I will.

Rudy just called. He’s worried about Don, Jr. All I can say is, if that sunovabitch Mueller tries to lay a glove on my namesake and oldest kid, I’ll…well, I’ll cross that bridge when it comes. Sometimes, Dear Diary, I get so pissed at all this fake news. These Demon-crats, led by the Clintons, they’re trying to get me any way they can: lies, smears, innuendoes. And that Obama. Man, why can’t these ex-presidents just shut up and play golf? I’ll tell you, Obama’s the worst president we ever had. He really messed up the Bush economy, which had been doing so well, and it’s only because of me that this amazing Recovery has been so successful. So, yeah, I know I’m venting, but like I said, sometimes a guy has to let off a little steam. If only I could get a girl up here, a nice porn star. Dammit.

 


Random Notes: Kaepernick, FLOTUS (oh, no!) and Kavanaugh

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I’m so happy that Nike has made Colin Kaepernick their “face.” Very brave of them. In the Bay Area, where Colin used to be the 49ers quarterback, the decision is quite popular: yesterday’s morning news reported on a brand new poll, taken after Nike’s announcement, in which locals supported the decision by a three-to-one margin.

In less educated parts of the country, predictably, the Nazis and white supremacists are not happy. Here’s Breitbart’s Facebook post from yesterday:

The #BoycottNike movement is exploding on social media over the company’s decision to name anti-America, anti-police, pro-Communist millionaire Colin Kaepernick as the face for the shoe company’s new advertising campaign…

Don’t you just love it? “Communist millionaire.” Ha ha. Breitbart has proof, mind you, that Colin Kaepernick went to Communist School in Moscow, where he was taught by Putin himself. And Breitbart’s readers, who are generally poor hates millionaires, just detests them. Which is why they hate Trump. No, wait…

Of course, the Trumpian nationalists are out there burning their Nike sneakers in faux outrage. They remind me of the poor white trash Christians who burned Beatles albums after John Lennon’s remark about The Beatles being more popular than Jesus. You can always count on this riff-raff to act stir up trouble, especially when they’re egged on by their rightwing agitators like Trump.

I went to Trump’s Twitter accounts looking for his latest rant about Colin and didn’t see anything, but this tweet from Melania made me laugh: “Students – as you head #BacktoSchool, think about what you wish to accomplish this year. You have so much power in your individual voices. Will you strive to #BeBest?”

Two things about it are really striking. First, Melania’s pet “cause” (#BeBest) is the most cynically vacuous as that of any FLOTUS in my lifetime. It’s like an advertising slogan dreamed up by a cereal company. “#BeBest! Eat Cocoa Puffs!” All Melania needs is a little jingle to accompany it. Clearly, this flim-flammery was hatched by her P.R. hacks to make it look like this pampered, self-indulgent woman is interested in something besides herself. Sadly, Melania has never given any indication that she has any interests at all, beyond glamorous clothing, presiding over mansions, hosting luncheons for her “girlfriends,” and hanging out with Barron, who I swear looks more and more gay with every new photo.

He’s wearing J. Crew. WTF? This blog lists J. Crew as the second gayest brand in America. Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay: I am, and if Barron is gay, more power to him! But his Daddy is trying to ban transgendered people from the military, I wonder what Barron thinks about that.

The other thing about poor Melania’s tweet is the irony that her husband and his associates are bashing the Parkland students, including the fabulous David Hogg, for their anti-gun efforts, even as she’s urging “students” to express their “power” in their “individual voices.” Melania, that’s exactly what the Parkland students are doing!! Girl, if you had one-quarter of their integrity, you would be celebrating the Parkland activists instead of inventing a fake hashtag. Look, dear, you’re a punch line. Your reputation is in tatters: it’s irreparable, and you won’t be able to begin to restore your standing in the eyes of the American people until you divorce the philanderer, let us know how you really felt when he was humiliating you with all his ho’s and porn stars, and start leading an honest life, the way Jackie O. did after she left Onassis.

As far as Brett Kavanaugh is concerned, I’ll let my exclusive post from yesterday stand. To me, he’s just another angry, white Christian, pissed off that his ruling class is losing their power as America becomes more diverse. There’s a ton of such people; Kavanaugh would just be one more dreary cog in their ignorant machine, except for all the damage he’ll go as a Justice. I doubt that Democrats can stop him from being approved by the Republican majority, but I will warn Republicans that they will see widespread civil unrest if any or all of three things happen for which Kavanaugh is responsible:

  1. Ending gay marriage
  2. Banning abortion
  3. Letting Trump escape prosecution for his crimes

If Brett Kavanaugh is any student of history, I hope he’ll realize how perilous his situation is. He can help to diffuse it by refusing to kowtow to his Republican and Vatican bosses now that he has a lifetime appointment. Or he can throw gasoline on the flames and know that what ensues will be his fault. He can be Stephen Johnson Field, the Supreme Court Justice who’s been called “the worst SCOTUS ever” because of his white supremacist ideology, which included voting for Plessy v. Ferguson which upheld racial segregation. Or he can be a champion of civil rights and freedom, like Earl Warren, William Brennan and even Anthony Kennedy, men who are rightfully celebrated for making America greater by extending liberty throughout the land.

 

 


Giuliani: “The American people would revolt”

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Talk about wishful thinking! Or maybe it’s delusional psychosis. Either way, or both, Giuliani’s lie that “the American people would revolt” if Trump is impeached is a real howler.

Giuliani looks and sounds more and more like a maniac. I used to work in a mental institution where there were adult patients who had become completely divorced from reality. One man thought he was an Admiral. Another saw people whom no one else saw. A woman sat on a bench all day long “knitting” with invisible yarn and needles. These people all were suffering from different kinds of hallucinations.

Often, psychiatrists tell us, such reactions are defense mechanisms to protect the patients from their own internal fears. They make things up, as it were, that will ward off demons and dragons and keep them safe. In Giuliani’s case, it’s impossible to know if he’s actually hallucinating when he tells lie after lie (in the manner of his boss) or if he’s aware that what he’s saying is totally bogus and is just trying to spin. We can’t see into Giuliani’s brain (nor would I want to: nasty place), but it doesn’t matter what his specific motive is. What matters is the complete falsity of his remarks.

“The American people” will certainly not revolt if and when Trump is impeached. Every metric we have available proves that. Democrats have a substantial lead over Republicans in the midterm elections, which are widely viewed as a referendum on Trump (even Bannon admits as much). Trump’s job approval numbers remain well underwater in all eight of the country’s leading polls, while an overwhelming majority of Americans say that Trump’s boast to only hire “the best people” is ridiculous. Only an astoundingly low 13% of Americans believe Trump is “honest and trustworthy,” while a wide majority (51% to 35%) thinks Putin “has compromising information” on Trump. More than three-fifths of people polled “believe the women who have alleged affairs with Donald Trump.” As for impeachment itself, 42% of all Americans “say President Donald Trump should be impeached and removed from office,” and that was before the shocking events of last week, with Manafort guilty, Cohen taking a plea, Pecker and Weisselberg taking immunity from prosecutors, and Trump visibly melting down in public. I guarantee Giuliani that future polls will find much higher numbers of Americans happy to see him impeached.

So what the hell is Giuliani talking about? The monumentality of his lies and misstatements is almost beyond belief. Trump “doesn’t know anything about obstruction.” Really? Let’s let Mueller determine that. Cohen is “a massive liar”? Haha. Here’s a recent CNN poll:

  • Only 34 percent of Americans approve of Trump’s handling of the Russia investigation, vs. 55 percent who disapprove.
  • 58 percent say this is a serious matter that should be investigated, vs. only 37 percent who think it’s mainly an effort to discredit Trump.
  • 56 percent say Trump has interfered with the investigation, vs. only 38 percent who say he has not.
  • Only 37 percent say the things Trump has said publicly about the investigation are true, vs. 56 percent who say they are false.
  • 70 percent say Trump should testify to Mueller, vs. only 25 percent who say he should not.
  • 57 percent say Trump knew about contacts between his campaign operatives and Russians, vs. only 36 percent who say he did not.

Giuliani’s fake narrative may appeal to his boss and to the droolers on Breitbart, but the numbers prove that vast majorities of Americans aren’t buying it. If anything, with each shocking revelation about the extent of the criminality in Trump World, Trump’s negatives reach ever more unprecedented levels.

So, Giuliani, you have it exactly backwards. If and when Trump is impeached (and it’s looking more like “when” than “if”), the American people will celebrate. Your reputation, or what’s left of it, will be in tatters; maybe there’s a game show you can host. The moment the Houses passes articles, the American people will pour out into the streets to cheer our Constitution and praise the rule of law. Do you know when we, the American people, will revolt? If the Republican Party continues to obstruct justice by protecting their criminal leader. That’s when the revolt will erupt: against Republicans, culminating on November 6 and continuing for a generation.

 


Shaming Sarah

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Poor Sarah Huckabee Sanders. At yesterday’s press briefer, she looked like she could use a Prozac—or a bong hit.     She’s never been Little Miss Sunshine, but lately she’s been a real Debbie Downer, especially after the Cohen and Manafort developments of Tuesday.

Granted, the White House Press Corps has given her a rough time. They want answers to questions—Who’s determining security clearances in the White House? Were there any other women who got paid hush money? Is the president ruling out a pardon for Manafort?—but Sarah is in no mood to give those answers. She sounds increasingly weary, looks exasperated, frequently sighs heavily, as though she carries a great weight on her shoulders. The bags under the eyes, the downturned lips—gruesome. Quite frankly, the job is killing her.

Well, if she’s not happy in the job, she could quit anytime. Nothing to prevent from taking a much-better paying gig in corporate communications with, say, Boeing, or some other corporation with links to rightwing politicians. Despite Sarah’s tattered reputation, I’m sure they’d scoop her up.

But her reputation is in tatters, and it’s clear why. All press secretaries have to dissemble and put the best spin on disastrous developments, but in my lifetime of watching them, from Jim Hagerty to Josh Earnest, I’ve never seen anyone lie so consistently as Sarah (with the sole exception of Kellyanne Conway). It must be hard on the conscience to fib so much, every single day, and to know that your audience (seasoned Washington reporters) knows you’re lying.

This goes especially for someone who purports to be a Christian, the way Sarah does. She is reported to carry with her a little book, “Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence,” a compendium of Bible sayings and devotions “For Every Day of the Year.” Its inspirations must come in handy when Sarah feels tired, frustrated, put upon and guilty. When the White House reporters look at her the way they’d look at a dog that just shat on the floor, it must give Sarah great comfort to read the words from Romans 12:2, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” “The pattern of this world,” of course, in Sarah’s case is the world’s strange, stubborn addiction to “facts” and “truth,” but Sarah has been given permission by her Savior to “not conform” to facts and truth, if they inconveniently get in the way of her worldview. And so she ponders the next words of that passage from Romans: “Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is.” If God’s will is for her to lie, in order to, say, protect Brett Kavanaugh’s appointment to the Supreme Court, then who is little Sarah Huckabee Sanders—a preacher-man’s daughter from a tiny Georgia town—to deny that will? Isn’t Sarah in the same position as Martha, sister of Mary, to whom the Lord said, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.” If Sarah worries about her many lies, if she grows upset at how she daily violates Christian principles, if she worries about going to Hell, she has only to remember those words and know that the “only one thing” she needs is trust in her Lord.

Such thinking is the opposite of rational. It is delusional, magical, grandiose, even hallucinatory. It characterizes all persons who believe in extremes of religion—not just Christianity, but Islam, Judaism, Hinduism and so on. We really ought not to allow religious fanatics to have jobs in government, especially when their jobs require them to understand science and tell the truth; but It’s probably impossible to enact such a prohibition in America, now or ever. So we just have to accept that now and then we’re going to have to deal with people like Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

What the White House Press Corps should do is press her to the utmost when she lies, not let her off the hook, not allow her to switch to another question before she’s answered the existing one. What the reporters ought to do is cry out, “Liar liar pants on fire” in unison, every time Sarah lies. What fun T.V. that would be! But much as they might want to, the reporters are afraid of being banned from the White House briefings, which would impact their jobs and hefty salaries, so it’s not likely to happen.

Which allows Sarah to get away with her lies. Well, revenge is a dish best served cold. Those of us who are offended by her lies (and Kellyanne’s, and those of everyone else close to Trump) might wish to see them punished in some way for having such a deleterious effect on our country and on the presidency, but for most of us, all we can really do is heckle these people when if we run into them in a public place, like a restaurant. It’s called “shaming,” and it used to be widely employed by society to let pariahs know they’re not welcome. If Sarah Huckabee Sanders isn’t ashamed of herself, then we should do her shaming for her.

P.S. Last night my blog came under heavy attack from the Russian Federation. Fortunately my firewall blocked all of the attempts to get in. Makes me wonder: are the Russians trying to take me down because I’m anti-Trump?

Have a lovely weekend!

 


Memorial Day

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Military service was not a strong tradition in my family, as it is in so many others, where service to country has been measured in generations. My father did not serve in World War II because he was deferred due to working in a war-related factory. His only brother, my uncle, did serve, as a medical aide to Gen. MacArthur in the Pacific theatre, where his specialty was combatting venereal disease! Among my male cousins in the far-off Draft days of the 1960s, several served in Vietnam, and to this day bear the psychological scars of returning home to taunts and spit—although not from me. I, myself, was rejected by the Draft Board. They never explained to me the reason/s why, leaving me to conjecture. Because they knew I was gay? Or something else? Anyhow, I didn’t know, at the time, what I would do were I to be drafted. Escape to Canada was an option; so was going into the Army. In retrospect, I think it would have been good for me to have served, although that, of course, probably would have landed me in Vietnam. At any rate, I respect and admire the men and women back then who chose, and, in these non-draft days, choose to serve their country, although I have to admit I don’t think of them as morally superior to their brothers and sisters who have not chosen to serve.

One of my fondest childhood memories is of my older cousin (through marriage) Don, who did serve in the Army. I was particularly close to him—he was my first hero-worship. While a graduate student at Harvard’s School of Architecture, Don worked on his thesis, an analysis of conditions among soldiers at Fort Devens, outside Boston. In the summer of 1962, I think it was, I spent a month helping him with various features of his study. Many years later, Don had by then served in the second administration of Gov. Jerry Brown here in California, and had started a company producing below-market-rate housing in San Francisco. He was on a plane heading to Croatia, in 1966, because he’d been invited by U.S. Commerce Secretary (under Bill Clinton) Ron Brown, to rebuild housing destroyed in those awful Serbian wars of the 1990s. The plane, tragically, plowed into a mountainside; all were killed. Don was permitted to be buried in the Presidio National [military] Cemetery, in San Francisco, through a special Act of Congress proposed by Sen. Dianne Feinstein. From time to time, we visit his grave, high on a hill overlooking the beautiful Golden Gate, and we place little stones upon the headstone, in the ancient Jewish tradition.

I suppose it is due to the way I was raised that I respect the uniform, whether it be worn on soldiers, cops or firefighters. I do try to understand the point of view of those who view the uniform, and the men and women in it, as the enemy. Surely everybody has got to work towards reconciliation! But things are not helped by the attitude of the current president and his regime, who are hell-bent on appealing to anger and resentment, not on the things that bind us as Americans. Barack Obama tried that route, and did not do so well. I think History will praise him for his gentlemanly ways, and will condemn the current occupant of the White House as a catastrophic anomaly. I hope to live long enough to see a great majority of Americans unite in agreement that the 2016 election was an unqualified disaster, and I hope that the people who voted for Trump will have the scales fall from their eyes, and apologize to their children and grandchildren for the awful thing they did. But I don’t know that I will ever see that day.

Meanwhile, on this Memorial Day, I salute all the people who serve our country in uniform, and I pause to remember those service members who are no longer with us. Thank you for your protection and service!


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