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Report from the vaccine front line

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It’s been a month since I got my second shot (Pfizer), and despite reports that lots of people are experiencing weird side effects, I’m happy to say everything about me remains normal.

That’s not to say there haven’t been any side effects. I began to notice a strong aversion to shaving, which coincided with an amazingly fast beard-growing capacity. I took this picture this morning.

Some of you might not recognize me, so I wanted to show it to you now, so you won’t be scared when we run into each other at Clancy’s Bar & Grille, now that it’s reopened. First beer’s on me, bud!

The chip implant in my arm doesn’t really bother me either.

At first there was a little soreness, but it went away quickly and was replaced with a sense of well-being. And the swelling actually accentuated my tattoos! I’ve learned to resist the impulse to smack people, after that first incident which was so embarrassing. The voices in my head sometimes throw me off, but they taught me how to tune into Spotify by tugging on my earlobe. Did you know there’s a Middle Eastern channel? I never used to like Arabian music, but now I do.

I’ve actually got to be friends with the guy who gave me my second shot. His name is Dr. Billy.

He smiled the whole time he stuck the needle into me. Such white teeth! We agreed to stay in touch. He’s such an interesting guy. We have the most amazing conversations. I hear him in this place that’s sort of behind the upper part of my nose. He always tells me where he’s currently giving injections. For instance, as I write this, he’s in Vice President Harris’s office, vaccinating her staff.

Dr. Billy taught me how to give injections, and then he gave me a bunch of syringes and a few hundred doses of “the juice,” as he calls it. He told me that the homeless people in Oakland are in desperate need of getting vaccinated, so I’ve been going into the camps at night. They’re really easy to inject when they’re passed out.

He told me that we can organize the homeless people into teams to give the vaccine to other Americans. He gave me hats to give them.

His idea is to have millions of volunteers organized in time for the 2022 elections. It sounds pretty good to me! We need healthy Americans if we’re going to have a good, healthy government!

There’s something I want to confide in you that Dr. Billy told me. He warned me not to tell anyone, but I know you’ll keep the secret! The China Virus

was actually invented by a Chinese doctor,

who developed it in order to kill half of Earth’s population, so that China can take over. This evil doctor sent the virus to an obese orange-haired Soviet agent in Florida, whose code name is “Sludge.”

Sludge agreed to spread it to every American. This evil genius was having a sexual affair with a famous American escort

who was sleeping with “The Mastermind,” a bloated psychotic named Binky

who was collaborating with Vladimir Putin to assassinate Hillary Clinton. The psychotic was angry because he had gained 600 pounds since the death of his mentor, Jeffrey Epstein, who was no longer around to supply him with pre-pubescent girls. Binky and Sludge were quite close. There were rumors, never proven, that they were the love children of Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun.

Hillary Clinton had said on the Dark Web she would pay $1 million to anyone who could get Sludge’s DNA to prove he was a Hitler/Braun spawn. Binky bribed someone close to Sludge, a young negligée model named Flambé,

who had access to Sludge. She scraped some samples off his toilet seat and sent them to her cut-out, a spy named Boris,

who was being paid by George Soros. The story gets complicated, but it turned out that a trillionaire named Jeff Bezos had the patent on the coronavirus and was making $10 for every person infected.

This explains why the Iranian government sent an undercover Mullah by the name of Dr. Fowzi to the American Centers for Disease Control.

Fauci, in collaboration with Soros, Hillary Clinton and a mysterious operative known only as “Q,” tricked the American people into getting the so-called “COVID vaccine,” into which Bill Gates had inserted the chip.

How did I learn all this? I was told by a friend of mine, Viking Man,

who has inside knowledge, and is making a Go-Fund-Me to pay for removing the chip from the 100 million Americans who have one. Viking Man is working closely with Sludge to Make America Chipless Again, which is surely a goal worthy of your support. Hail Sludge! Hail Viking Man! Down with Bill Gates! COVID is fake news! Jail Hillary! Vote for Binky! Flambé for President!

Excuse me, but Mr. Gates is calling. I have to go now…more later…

  1. Either the chemtrails are interfering with your judgement, or you are just a brave man to expose all the conspiracies in one swoop!

    In case ‘they’ come get you, I want to say thanks for all the writing over the years. Your blog is always enjoyable reading Steve.

  2. I ain’t going down without a fight, Adolfo!

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