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The top 9 things Republicans want


As near as I can tell, here are the priorities of the trump/insurrectionist/crazy wing of the Republican Party. I may have missed a few, but these are the main ones. In no particular order, they are:

Anti-vaxxers. These people are characterized by paranoid fantasies, such as “Dr. Fauci is implanting DNA chips in his vaccine, in order to enslave us.”

The Deep State/Qanon conspiracy theorists. According to the rightwingers, there is a cabal of entrenched child molesters and pedophiles, most likely working out of a pizza store, that is trying to turn America into—well, into “what” isn’t quite clear, but the Qanon people don’t like it.

Anti-abortion. This is a bedrock Republican principle. I have some sympathy for it, but as a man, I’ve taken the firm position that my beliefs about abortion are irrelevant. This is a matter for the woman, her doctor, and (possibly) the biological father to determine.

Anti-international organizations (WHO, NATO, U.N., Paris Climate Accords, World Court, etc.). The insurrectionists want nothing to do with the rest of the world, which they regard as savage snowflakes. They want the U.S. to go it alone—even though there’s ample evidence that the world can move forward only if it moves together.

White supremacy. All we have to do is look at Charlottesville, the Michigan militia who tried to kill Gov. Whitmer, and the delightful thugs who stormed the Capitol, in order to know exactly who and what they are. These people don’t like people of color, or gays, or foreigners even if they’re white (unless they’re neo-nazis). They think Jesus was Caucasian, and they want to live in a white world.

Homophobia. These people also hate gays. They think of themselves as good ole boys, which means straight and, usually, rural. They selectively choose certain parts of the Bible (such as Leviticus) to justify their homicidal instincts. If they were in power, gay people would be in extreme danger.

Anti-workers unions. For some weird reason, even though these rightwing thugs are mostly lower-class or lower-middle class, they hate unions. Of course, they love the paid vacation time, paid sick leave, pensions, and improved working conditions that unions fought for and achieved. But unions themselves? Not so much.

War on science/anti-elitism. Since most Republicans are deficient in education (red states have far lower school graduation rates than blue states), they naturally resent people who are smarter than they are. They prefer to reach their conclusions through emotional reactions and religious superstition, rather than through science and reason. These types have been around for a long time. They were once called “the Know-Nothing party.” They hated Adlai Stevenson because he was a “pointy-headed intellectual.” They’re afraid of science because it disproves everything in their Bible.

War on democracy. These Republicans talk a lot about the Constitution, but when push comes to shove, they prove, by their actions, they don’t give a damn about it. Fair elections? Forget about it, if their candidate loses. Majority rule? Nope, because the majority of American voters are Democrats. The will of the people? As Senate Republicans prove every day, they couldn’t care less. Rand Paul is one of the leading anti-democrat voices in the Congress. These people are clear about what they want: a white-dominated, Christian (evangelical, that is) authoritarian regime in America, one in which elections are unnecessary because they will tell the rest of us what to do.

Well, did I miss anything?

  1. Bob Rossi says:

    Good list. A few comments.
    “Dr. Fauci is implanting DNA chips in his vaccine, in order to enslave us.” I thought it was Bill Gates. Or maybe he was responsible for the virus in the first place, so he could make a killing with a vaccine. After all, he’s no longer the richest man in the world. Maybe he needs more money.

    QAnon conspiracy. My main question is: Is the pizza at that shop any good?

    Rand Paul is one of the leading anti-democrat voices in the Congress. While his father was kind of quirky, his ideology was at least pretty consistent. What happened to Rand?

  2. The thing is, they’re all in cahoots. Bill Gates funds the pizza-pedophile ring. Fauci is the public face of the science. Hillary Clinton is chief strategist, while AOC is the link to Al Qaeda and Jeff Bezos controls the propaganda. As for the pizza, I haven’t had it, but my Qanon friends tell me it’s Deep Dish. As for Rand Paul, I have no explanation, nor do I need one. All I know is that he, like others, has committed treason against the United States and must be punished.

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