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White House: Trump has “always” advocated face masks

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Following four months of insisting that face masks are a “Democrat hoax” and a waste of time, President Trump’s advisors have concluded that he must make a 180-degree change of course, in order to keep his plunging approval numbers from falling even further.

Trump personally ordered the shift in messaging, after being told by his campaign managers that he faces “near certain defeat” in the upcoming election, largely because the American people perceive his response to the pandemic has been erratic and incompetent.

I was given a memo by a source in the West Wing of the White House, who insisted on anonymity since he was not authorized to speak with the media. That memo read:

MEMORANDUM

Office of the White House Chief of Staff

To: Ministry of Truth, Department of Homeland Security, cc: SecDef

Message: unreport PT masks doubleplusungood, malquoted

Ref faucilies

rectify fullwise rewrite “masks patriotic”

Translated from trumpspeak, the message means: President Trump’s former negative comments about face masks shall now be reported as being misquotes. All references to the ineffectiveness of face masks will be stricken from the record and replaced by positive comments, backdated as necessary, such as that face masks are patriotic. Negative references to face masks shall be attributed to Dr. Fauci and referred to as “lies.”

Whether or not the public falls for these claims remains to be seen. A senior source with long ties to the President said that the election of Trump in 2016 proves that “the American people, or at least a good many of them, will believe whatever the President tells them to believe,” no matter how much his statements are contradicted by evidence. “If the President says it,” this aide claims, “then it is a fact.”

Democrats reacted predictably, describing Trump’s about-face as ridiculous. “President Trump’s assertion that he has always favored wearing face masks is as fake as his claims that he respects women. It is, quite simply, an insult to the intelligence of the American people,” said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Contra Costa County) went further. “Another day, another massive lie from the pathological liar-in-chief,” Swalwell said. “Next thing you know, Trump will be saying he marched with Dr. King.”

At today’s daily briefing, press secretary Kayleigh McEnany, said exactly that. “President Trump inherited the values of fairness from his father, Fred, who was a great champion of civil rights. President Trump marched frequently with Dr. King, and was a great friend of the Negro people.”

McEnany, reminded by reporters that the President has been anti-mask since at least March, called those reports “fake news.” “It’s about what we would expect from the failing New York Times and the lying Washington Post,” she said. “Everbody knows that this President has advocated face masks, social distancing and avoiding large gatherings since he first became aware of the threat of COVID-19, last December.” She denied that events such as Trump’s rallies in Phoenix and Tulsa violated CDC guidelines. “We took every step to ensure that attendees were safe. We handed out face masks, and we insisted on social distancing, which is why the Tulsa attendance was lower than the arena’s capacity. We could have filled that arena ten times over, such is the enthusiasm of the American people for a President they know is their favorite ever.”

Joe Biden, the presumptive Democratic nominee for President, described Trump’s recent advocacy of face masks “about as believable as his denial that he ever said those horrible words on Access Hollywood. Folks, face it, we have a deranged, possibly psychotic individual in the White House, and we have to replace him as soon as possible.”

Biden’s words drew stinging criticism from Trump allies. “Sleepy Joe is insulting the President of the United States. He should watch what he says,” said Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas). “President Trump conducts himself at all times with dignity. It’s unfortunate that the Democrat Party has chosen to sink into the gutter.”

As I write these words, the President’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, announced that Trump-related companies located in Bangaladesh and Vietnam are manufacturing face masks and other protective medical equipment “by the millions,” and that these supplies will be shipped to “hospitals, physicians and teachers” as soon as possible. He added, “The Trump and Kushner families will recoup only the financial resources we invested in these companies, plus a reasonable rate of return. We will not profiteer on the backs of sick Americans, unlike the corrupt Clinton, Obama and Biden families.”

  1. Bob Henry says:

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