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From the personal diary of ROSEANNE BARR



So I don’t care for the Blacks. Big Deal! Neither do lots of other white people; they just won’t admit it. But I’ll tell you, it’s hard being a conservative T.V. personality in this town. Hollywood is filled with ultra-libtards, like those two leftwing Jews, Rob Reiner and Steven Speilberg. Us conservatives—people like me, Mel Gibson, Pat Boone, Clint Eastwood and Caitlyn Jenner—are never invited to A-list parties. You’d think we were lepers! I don’t know why some of these stars are so communistic. With all their money, you’d think they’d want a government that lowers their taxes and keeps the lazy, stealing masses away from their gates! But no.

Anyhow, I don’t really care about losing the show. Hell, I’m worth $100 million, give or take a few million. I was perfectly happy on my macadamia farm in Hawaii, and I’ll be happy going back there now. There are very few, if any, Blacks, and I’ll have my Ambien with me, so all will be well.

I was so proud of President Trump for sticking up for me! That’s a true friend—not like those stab-in-the-back liberal goo-goos, Melissa Gilbert, Laurie Metcalf and John Goodman. I made their careers, Dear Diary! They were total nothingnesses when I picked them up out of the gutter and made them stars! So do I get a little gratitude? As if! Horrible people. Just like President Trump says, these Democrats are nasty bullies.

People ask, whatever happened to the old Roseanne? The pro-gay, pro-Black civil rights activist of the 1980s and 1990s? Well, she grew up, folks! Just like President Trump. He used to be a liberal, too, until he took off his rose-colored glasses and realized there are some really bad people in the world—not just Blacks, but Muslims, and Mexicans (I mean the rapists, not the nice young men who do my garden, and not Teresa, my maid). And don’t get me started on these hypocritical liberals like Chris Matthews who drone on and on about how wonderful Blacks are, and then retreat to their gated communities where the only Black people they ever see are—well, you never see Black people in gated communities! Look, I’m a comedienne! I make jokes! Sometimes my jokes are in poor taste! Hell, they’re nearly always in poor taste! That’s my thing. It’s the same thing Phyllis Diller did, and Joan Rivers. How come people never complained when Joan said Liz Taylor couldn’t fit through McDonald’s arches, she was so fat? Where were the plus-sized activists?

Hey, Diary, check out my twitter feed, by the way. Nothing but support from my followers. Here’s a typical one from FiredUpMAGAKAD.

“She apologized. Her livelihood has been devastated over night, but that apparently is not enough for the mob. Now the attacks have escalated on her & her fans to a level of nastiness that is uncalled for.”

So true. Thank you, FiredUpMAGAKAG! You see, that’s the thing. I’ve never been nasty. Yes, I push the limits in my comedy, but it’s not really nasty—it just sounds that way. Same with President Trump. Tell me one nasty thing he’s ever said or done? You can’t! The man is a fountain of wisdom, truth and love. But these Hollywood Jews, they’re the nasty ones! I also love this tweet from Robert Barnes: “The problem for the media in firing @therealroseanne & celebrating it publicly is it far too authentically represented the actual elitist worldview of a significant chunk of the anti-Trump base.” Now that’s a smart man. The people who are criticizing me are elitist ivory-league preppies who go to their Manhattan and Malibu cocktail parties and put down working people. Well, I love the working class! I come from them! True, I’ve made a lot of money—just like President Trump—but I never forgot my origins. And neither has the President. He started off with nothing and earned every dollar. He truly loves the working class, and what does he get for it? The Russia Witch Hunt.

Well, I’ll tell you, Dear Diary, I’m going to fight this thing. I guarantee you I’ll be back on T.V. pretty soon. I can’t go into details, but there have been talks between my people and Lachlan Murdoch, over at Twentieth Century Fox, about a series. Maybe I’ll have someone in blackface. That would be the ultimate revenge, wouldn’t it? A new Roseanne show, even more conservative than the one ABC canceled. You know, the more I think about this shit, the angrier I get. And besides, Dear Diary, Valerie Jarrett does look like the Muslim Brotherhood and Planet of the Apes had a baby! That’s a great line, and nobody can tell me otherwise!!!

More tomorrow. Now, I have to go refresh my twitter feed.


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