subscribe: Posts | Comments      Facebook      Email Steve

From the personal diary of VLADIMIR V. PUTIN



Dear Comrade Diary,

It amuses me how puzzled American commentators are that U.S. President Donald Trump is refusing to blame Russia, or me personally, for the meddling that everyone knows happened.


Big story was Tuesday when Admiral Michael Rogers testified to U.S. Senate that President Trump has not directed him “to confront Russian cyber operators.” This surprises U.S. observers but not us Russians because we know that Mr. Trump will do nothing to stop us! As long as I possess that videotape he is stuck. Then too Trump Company and company of his son-in-law Jared Kushner owe Russia banks more than $1 billion and this is something we control them with.

I first met “The Donald” in 1998 when I was President of Russian Federation and he came to Moscow to talk to bankers regarding building international luxury hotel and apartments. I did not know who he was but my advisors told me he could be useful and to be nice to him, so we sent three prostitutes to his suite at Ritz-Carlton Hotel although that time we did not secretly tape the way we did later. But the prostitutes were debriefed by Russian security afterwards and from what I was told Mr. Trump had very bizarre tastes.

In 2014, during my first term as President, I reconnected with Donald. He was once again in Moscow with his son, Donald Jr. (a real idiot) to discuss terms for building new luxury hotel. I knew of course that he was interested in being U.S. President and so we began to cautiously cultivate him. I recall one dinner in particular at my apartments in The Kremlin. It was just the two of us plus my interpreter. I said to Donald, “We can probably help you to be President if you run.” He asked how. I explained how the Social Media aspect was wide open to manipulation and how my security people were exploiting it, starting with experiments in France and Sweden. He seemed very interested. It was on that voyage that Donald met with the prostitutes, again in Moscow, but this time we had his suite fully wired and were thus able to obtain the full videotape. I gave orders that Donald was to be informed of this and it was then that we arranged for Kisylak to so brief Donald Jr. on a visit to Trump Tower in 2016. This is what Kislyak told him.

“I have been instructed by President Putin to inform you, for the information of your father, that your father’s visit in 2014 to Moscow had been fully documented including the episode of the three prostitutes in suite at Moscow Grand Hotel. Videotape fully reveals Mr. Trump’s face and records his words, grunts and shouts as sexually perverted scene unfolds. President Putin expresses his eternal respect and affection for Mr. Trump and requests the fullest cooperation from Mr. Trump in future.”

Kislyak later told me that Trump appeared nervous and sat silent for some moments before expressing following reply: “Tell President Putin that I, Donald Trump, thank him and appreciate his eternal respect and affection. I, in turn, promise to aide and assist President Putin in any way I am able, and—should I run for President and be elected—I will do my utmost to help him.”

Well, Comrade Diary, look where we are now! All I can say is that Donald Trump has more than proven himself true to his word. He is loyal to a fault! It is frankly unbelievable to me and my colleagues how much he is standing up to his own intelligence services to challenge their assessment of our meddling in the U.S. election. As we say in Russian, Алты́нного во́ра ве́шают, а полти́нного че́ствуют—Little thieves are hanged, but great ones escape. Now, I have instructed my security people to conduct the most wide-sweeping cyber-espionage operation in the history of the world: to control the outcome of U.S. 2018 midterm elections. We know that President Trump will do nothing to stop us; neither will the Republicans in the Congress. I have now to decide which party we wish to win. I am not needlessly opposed to a Democratic takeover of the Congress, even if that means impeachment for President Trump who, after all, has now outlived his usefulness to me. Nor am I necessarily opposed to the Republicans maintaining their majorities. I need not reach a decision at this time, Dear Comrade Diary. The apparatus is being put into place; the infiltrations are happening even now, as our people hack into local voting machines with no resistance or protection from the Americans. My security advisors tell me I don’t have to decide which side will win the election until September 1, which coincidentally is anniversary of the start of World War II. I wonder what my illustrious predecessor, J.V. Stalin, would say, if he knew that a Russian President by himself could determine, not only who wins an American election, but even the margin of victory!

Leave a Reply


Recent Comments

Recent Posts