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Trump’s plan to nullify Mueller



Now we know whom Mueller indicted: Manafort.

Republicans are mad as hornets, frothing at the mouth, screaming for blood. Breitbarters are lighting up their torches and grabbing their pitchforks. It’s fun to watch them melt down!

But sane Republicans have long known this was coming. Last week, in anticipation, they launched their desperate counterattack on Mueller and, for good measure, they threw in Hillary Clinton on on some ridiculous uranium charge. The Breitbart-Tea Party misogynists will not rest content until she’s imprisoned or dead.

We know that Trump is fearful of Mueller and wants the probe stopped. We’ve heard the stories about him firing Mueller—something he obviously would very much like to do, but has not been able to, since doing so would almost guarantee an uproar in the Congress, mainly the Senate, even among his own Republicans. That uproar has been the one thing restraining an otherwise reckless Trump from saving his scalp by getting rid of the investigator who is closing in on him and his klepto family.

But for the time being, going after Mueller and Hillary are all Trump has left. His early morning tweets prove this: this is a man running scared, lashing out, hoping against hope that something will happen to rescue him.

Meanwhile, it’s not hard to imagine the behind-the-scenes meetings with Trump and his enablers.

“We can’t fire Mueller,” the rational ones, like Gen. Kelly and McMaster, argue.

“What else can we do?” someone asks.

General silence. Then, Trump: “If we can’t fire him, we make him quit.”

“How?” Someone asks. McConnell, who has been silent until then, chimes in. “We make life so hard for him, Mr. President, that he voluntarily steps aside.”

“How can we do that?” asks Gen Kelly. “He’s a strong guy, immune to pressure.”

Kellyanne Conway, who’s been patiently waiting, contributes her two cents. “Everybody has their breaking point,” she suggests, her blue eyeliner slightly smudged. Sarah Huckabee Sanders, picking up on her cue, grins. “Mr. President, a few of us have been quietly working on this for months. We just need the go-ahead from you.”

Trump: “What’s your plan?”

Kellyanne: “We go into total war against him. Fox News, the Wall Street Journal, the radio shock jocks like Jones and Limbaugh, our friends in the House and Senate, the Justice Department—“

Don McGhan, the White House counsel: “Wait a minute, Kellyanne. The Justice Department is independent of the White House. You can’t involve them in politics.”

Trump looks around the room, grins and winks at Sessions. This breaks the tension: everybody bursts out laughing.

“Jeff?” Trump asks, looking meaningfully at his Attorney-General.

Sessions: “Count us in, Mr. President. We’ll make it happen.”

Sarah Huckabee Sanders: “Every day, we lob grenades at Mueller, gradually escalating. We drag his associates in. We drag his family in. We have Devin Nunes demand hearings on the House side”—

“Not just of Mueller,” Trump orders. “I want Crooked Hillary investigated too.”

“For what?” Gen. Kelly asks.

“That uranium thing,” Pence says.

“Mr. President, there’s nothing there,” Jared says. “We’ve looked into that four, five times. If there was anything, we would’ve had it by now.”

Kellyanne: “Doesn’t matter, Jared. It’ll be a bombshell because we say it’s a bombshell. Our people will believe it.”

Trump: “God bless our base. They believe anything I tell them.” He tugs on his red MAGA cap.

“The point is,” Sarah Huckabee Sanders continues, “We only have 35% of the American people, but they’re the loudest, most loyal political demographic in the country. They’ll stand with us to the bitter end.”

Kellyanne: “Right. If we just go into defensive mode, we’ll lose the battle of public opinion. We have to counter-attack.”

Suddenly, the speakerphone crackles into life. It’s Bannon, calling from offsite: the White House didn’t dare have him attend in person lest the media spot him. “We’ve got this one, Mr. President. We nuke Mueller; nothing will be left but crispy critters. We stir every Hillary pot. Our people—my people—will go bat shit. We can turn this thing around 150 percent, Mr. President, put them on the defensive. Even if Mueller doesn’t quit, we’ll make it impossible for his report to have any validity. Day after day, week after week of attacks, innuendos and smears—we can do it, Sir.”

Kellyanne: “And what about Manafort?”

Sarah Huckabee Sanders: “Pardon my French, but fuck him.” Everyone laughs.

Sllence. After a while, Gen Kelly: “Mr. President? You have to make a decision. You have the nuclear code in your hands. Do we launch the ultimate attack on Mueller?”

Trump: (thinking to himself. Gets up, paces around the Oval Office a few times. Then): “Go for it, ladies and gentlemen. Just one final request: When you do this, make it ugly. Really, really ugly. I don’t want just to destroy Mueller and Hillary. I want to completely demoralize the Democratic Party.”

Pence: “Will do, Mr. President. By the way, did I ever tell you that I love you?”

Bannon: “Put on your shit shields, people. We’re at war.”

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