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Hey kids! Want to troll Breitbart? It’s fun and easy!



I go to Breitbart most days. I don’t spend a lot of time reading it—it’s pretty much the same garbage as in National Enquirer. But I do like to post the occasional comment, especially lately, given Breitbart’s and Bannon’s “importance” (if that’s the right word) in the national political conversation.

I post 2 or 3 times a day. I happily confess to being what you’d call a “troll.” I pretend to be a fan—right wing fanatic, anti-Democratic in the extreme, pro-Trump, angry and violent. I spell incorrectly, use horrible grammar, and say the most outrageous things: “I hayte Killary,” “Presadent Truimp shud send Obummer to Gittmo,” “Lock up the libtard snowflak medea.” If you examine my comments from real Breitbarters, it’s nearly impossible to tell which are theirs and which are mine. But I’m doing satire, and they’re not. So who’s crazy?

This is my way of pointing out how pathetically stupid Breitbart addicts are. Sometimes they see through my ploy and tell me in no uncertain terms to go fuck myself, literally. They call me “liberal troll” and urge each other not to respond to me. But sometimes they do respond, which is really cool. I love when they tell me to go back to school and learn how to spell. Then I can respond, “Itts verry unfare of you to critzcize a felo consurvativ just becuz I don’t no how to spill.” My ultimate goal is to be a “Turing machine” on Breitbart, where nobody knows if my comments are satiric or real. No better demonstration of absurdity can be imagined.

Look, it’s important to gum up the right wing attack machine as frequently and powerfully as we can. They invented fake news, so when I throw it back at them, I’m only using their own methods. Fire with fire, baby. Besides, you’d be surprised how much creativity it takes to write a truly stupid comment. It appeals to the auteur in me.

And now, onto the news of the day: Phoenix, and Trump’s rant.

A Nuremberg-style rally. Angry and defiant. Platitudes wrapped in the flag, from a thin-skinned, paranoid, defensive, hateful narcissist. Lies about “We’re all together,” completely ignoring his continuing insults of half of America, from his birtherism to his slandering of immigrants, transgendered people, Muslims, Hillary, the Obamas, scientists, environmentalists, Democrats–who got more votes than he did. More slurs against “the dishonest media” that reports on his, and his family’s, profit from power, on his collusion with Russia, on his sexual predation, on his lies and bullying. No criticism of the “fake media” of his friend, the National Enquirer. More phony calls for “love,” “where my heart is,” from a man who has never shown love for anything, except money, sex, power and his family, whoever his current wife happens to be. Blithering nonsense about the right of children to play in safety. More bull about “God” from the most secular, immoral president in U.S. history. More cries from his frenzied, murderous crowd to destroy CNN, the New York Times, the Washington Post, even his own Senate Republican Party. More slanders about Democrats being communists, allowing rapists unlimited entry across the borders.All that was missing were the spotlights and “Heils.” Leni Reifenstahl would have enjoyed filming the hatefest.

History will record this disgusting Phoenix rally as, first and foremost, Trump’s continuing violent attack on the legitimate media, which means: attacking Truth. He could have tried to heal divisions. Instead, he threw raw, bloody meat to his racist, tea party fans, and, along the way, advertised fox “news” and the repellent Hannity. This was Adolf Trump, addressing his troops, indoctrinating them with propaganda, preparing them for battle.

Trump asks for unity? It’s not going to happen. #Impeach

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