This one’s too easy
The metastasization of wine competitions continues! Last January, I spoofed on how these ersatz contests are springing up like mushrooms after a Summer rain. Now there’s another one: the NextGen Wine Competition, billed as “the only competition by and for Millennial Wine Buyers, judged by their superstar peers age 21-35!”
Well, when I announced my “Voice of the People Worldwide Wine Awards Competition” I was obviously pulling your leg. But this time I’m serious: I am announcing the “Baby Boomers Wine Competition.” It will be by and for the Boomers, and only Boomers will be allowed to judge.
No, I’m lying again. There won’t be a Boomers wine competition. I only threw that out there to facetiously point out how silly this is all getting. I mean, if there’s a Millennial wine competition, why not an Octagenarian wine competition? How about one for the handicapped? An Asian-American wine competition? No, wait, I have it: a Gay Wine Competition, complete with rainbow flag awards and tap-dancing pourers. By the way, lest you think I make this stuff up, the Millennial Competition’s webpage has a link for “Sister Competitions” including the National Womens Wine Competition and the Organic and Biodynamic Wine Competition.
How about a Biodynamic Womens Wine Competition? They could get Lynda Carter out of retirement to host it.
Look, I like Donnie and August Sebastiani, the “Honorary Co-Chairs” of the Millennial Competition, just fine, insofar as I’ve known them over the years. They inherited their entrepreneurial genes from their Dad, Don Sebastiani, one of the most brilliant marketers the California wine industry has ever seen. And the team of judges the competition has assembled seems to be a talented one, including winemakers, P.R. mavens, social media consultants and sommeliers — all Millennials.
But what do the organizers mean when they say “The Millennial Wine Competition is the first competition designed to let Millennials tell wineries and wine marketers what they want.”? Let’s deconstruct that statement. There are 70 million Millennials in this country. Surely, not all of them want the same thing. Surely, they do not speak with one voice. So the statement is false on its face. What it really means is “The Millennial Wine Competition is the first competition designed to let Millennials judge some wines ($95 per wine entry fee, please) and then issue a press release saying which ones got medals.”
With each new competition, the value of all competitions is diminished. I don’t think the organizers see it that way, but that is the end result. Am I going out on a limb when I guess that a 26-year old person is probably not going to buy a wine because it won a medal at the Millennial Wine Competition? What if that 26 year old is a woman, and she sees that another wine won the National Womens Wine Competition? What if she’s a Green person and sees that yet another wine just won the Organic and Biodynamic Wine Competition? What if she then sees that wine #4 got 100 points from Steve Heimoff? What if #5 has a shelf talker from the store saying the wine is terrific? You see my point: these competitions are just muddying the waters, further confusing a population that’s already hopelessly confused about wine.
I also think that wineries are going to be facing a dilemma when it comes to deciding which competitions to enter. They can’t enter them all, can they? Too expensive, especially if you’re a little family winery. That pretty much limits entrants to corporate brands, which severely constricts the credibility of these competitions. So it might sound a little self-serving, but I think the public’s interest is best served, if they want critical reviews, by sticking with trusted reviewers — regardless of their age or gender — who review everything in their regions.
UCLA is conducting some research on wine consumer attitudes and perceptions. I encourage readers to go to their website and click through to take the online survey.