It could happen…
Dear wine friends,
The American Association of Wine Economists (AAWE) in collaboration with the Australian Agricultural and Resource Economics Society (AARES) is calling for papers for a workshop on “The world’s wine markets by 2030,” held in Adelaide, Australia, 7-9 February 2010.
Send a 1-page abstract to email@example.com <mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org> by 27 July 2009.
from the Beijing Times
June 11, 2030
TOP WINE CRITIC JOE ROBERTS UNDER ATTACK
Famous writer accused of “lack of transparency” and “humanoidal deviation” by bot24-J_2
Roberts, widely acknowledged as the most influential wine critic on Earth, the Moon and Mars, found himself in the crosshairs at the recent winebot conference, held in the Hubble Hotel some 600 miles in space.
The winebots are an increasingly influential group in wine criticism. These computerized androids argue that their robotic mental powers are more objective than those of critics who, like Roberts, were born human, and thus fall prey to “humanoidal deviation”. The point was driven home by the conference’s keynote speaker, bot24-J_2, who charged that because Roberts has no internal hard drive, “It’s not even clear how he’s making his judgments. His decision-making is utterly opaque and non-transparent.”
Roberts, reached at his villa, referred a caller to his Ethical Guidelines, which are posted on his blog, 1WineDude, said to be the longest-lasting wine blog in existence.
The much beloved “Andy Rooney of wine,” Steve Heimoff, weighed in on the brouhaha on his blog, where he wrote that winebots like bot24-J_2 “are the wave of the future, and we must respect them. However,” Mr. Heimoff added, “Joe Roberts can’t help it if he was born with a brain. Therefore, I think that bot24-J_2 was a little out of line.”
In other wine news, it is being reported that the last vineyard in Napa Valley is being replaced by a papaya plantation due to warming temperatures. A spokesperson for the plantation, who did not wish to be identified because he was not authorized to speak with the media, explained that the company plans to release a regular Napa Valley papaya and a Reserve Papaya, made from riper fruit and harvested by virgins. Meanwhile, Robert Mondavi Winery has announced the opening of its new tasting room and spa at the North Pole.
Wine Business.com 5.0 published its newest listing of the top wine-drinking countries:
4. The European Union
5. The America-Canada Federation
6. The Russian Union
7. The United Moon Colonies
9. The United Mexican Republics of Central America
10. The Republic of California
Dept. of Tedium
Tish, whose brain is kept alive by evil scientists somewhere in an undisclosed location, has just issued his 1 billionth fatwah against the 100-point system, which actually stopped being used in the year 2019.
This just in: It has been confirmed that the one-trillionth Master Sommelier has just been named. Congratulations to bot24-J_2, of the United Moon Colonies.